


Soulmate AUs

by RensSaxophone



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:28:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 23,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27310459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RensSaxophone/pseuds/RensSaxophone
Summary: A collection of different Soulmate AUs with a collection of different ships.
Relationships: Hijirikawa Masato/Ichinose Tokiya, Hijirikawa Masato/Ichinose Tokiya/Jinguuji Ren, Hijirikawa Masato/Ichinose Tokiya/Kurosaki Ranmaru, Hijirikawa Masato/Jinguuji Ren, Hijirikawa Masato/Jinguuji Ren/Kurosaki Ranmaru, Hijirikawa Masato/Kurosaki Ranmaru, Hyuuga Yamato/Ichinose Tokiya, Ichinose Tokiya/Jinguuji Ren, Ichinose Tokiya/Jinguuji Ren/Kurosaki Ranmaru, Ichinose Tokiya/Kurosaki Ranmaru, Jinguuji Ren/Kurosaki Ranmaru
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	1. Stuck Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is a little bit angsty, but they're going to fluctuate between angst and fluff (ideally they'll be somewhat balanced, haha) but i hope you enjoy

Tokiya had his life mostly “in order”. He was still Hayato on the side, but he was just about to start a new life at school. Everything was going well. 

There weren’t _that_ many rules in the school, but one of the big ones that had caught Tokiya’s attention was a “no love” rule- but with the world he lived in, there was one main exception. 

Soulmates.

Tokiya didn’t think that he’d find one. After all- what were the chances that he would? There may have been many, many people in the world, but he was an active idol for God’s sake. How has he never met his soulmate yet? There were people that didn’t have soulmates.

And Tokiya wasn’t overly familiar with how soulmates worked, but he knew a few things about it. It didn’t go into effect until you were eighteen- it was a blessing, because this was an… “affliction” that _could_ kill you. Because if you found your soulmate, you were stuck with them. If you avoided them, or you stayed away from them, you’d start by getting sick, and you both could die, if you leave each for long enough. 

That was a reason that Tokiya was afraid to find a soulmate. 

It was the first day of school that it happened. Or, more accurately- that night. Because during the day, Tokiya had felt _fine_. As soon as he had gotten home, he had felt like garbage. He felt empty, and sick, and weak- and it was made all the worse when he had to go perform on stage. By the time he had gotten back to his shared dorm he had collapsed on his bed and had slept so deeply that Otoya had to wake him up. He would have been late to class, otherwise. 

It should have been harder to find his soulmate, considering he had an entire class and an entire _school_ \- but Tokiya looked terrible. 

It’s easier, focusing in class, but he had pushed himself so hard last night that he still felt and looked miserable. Tokiya has trouble, even admitting it to himself, but he starts daydreaming in class. He wonders how it would feel to be held. He wonders if it might help how miserable he feels. 

He wonders how bad he’s making _them_ feel. He has to be Hayato tonight. He wonders if he’s going to collapse on stage. 

What choice did he have?

Not much of one, apparently, because he’s stopped before he can leave- by _Ren Jinguji_ , of all people. 

Ren is quiet for a moment as everyone else leaves the room- beyond their teacher, Ringo. But Ringo takes one look at the two of them and puts two and two together. He chooses to remain silent and let them talk this out. 

“You’re my soulmate.” Ren says it so matter-of-fact that Tokiya almost just agrees. But Tokiya’s a skeptic and this feels too easy. 

“That’s an awfully bold assumption.”

“You look terrible. And I’ve spent the last day feeling horrible myself.”

“It’s a large school. It’s not unbelievable that we both just happened to find someone.” It’s a slip, but he tries to catch himself. “I just had a hard night, anyways. That’s hardly any proof that I even had a soulmate.”

“A hard night? Doing what? First day of school homework?”

Tokiya stills. His voice comes out defensive. “I don’t have to answer anything you’re asking me.”

Ren looks annoyed. “Tell me, right now, that you _don’t_ feel better.”

Tokiya’s lips tighten into a thin line. 

“You do realize, _Tokiya_ , that ignoring this can lead to _death_ , yes?” Ren’s eyebrow arches. “I’ve no idea what feelings you have for _yourself_ , but are you really prepared to condemn me to death, too? Just to save your… what is it? Pride? I can’t comprehend why you’re so against admitting that I’m your soulmate.”

“A soulmate is a hindrance.” Tokiya snaps. “Something that’s nice to think about but is so incredibly _annoying_ in reality. Especially as an idol.”

“It shouldn’t be a problem. This school is awfully understanding, isn’t it? Unless there’s something else you’re not telling me.” It’s a challenge. 

Tokiya is saved from an answer by Ringo. “I hate to disrupt an important conversation, but I have a class that’s about to start.”

“Of course.” Tokiya answers, standing stiffly. 

“We should head out anyways.” Ren slings his bag over his shoulder as Tokiya stiffly gathers his own things. “We need to talk to the office and get our rooms changed.”

Tokiya’s jaw tightens, and he breathes out slowly. 

“You can tell me what you’re hiding from me while you’re at it.” Ren adds helpfully. 

Tokiya sighs, leaving the room. He waits until they’re outside of the classroom before he speaks again. “We’re forced to be near each other. That’s as far as this goes. I’ve no reason to tell you anything.”

“Tell me why you’re so against the idea of a soulmate. We’re made for each other, you know.” Ren’s patience is very clearly faked- Tokiya can tell. He can see how Ren’s jaw tightens and the way his hand flexes against the strap of his backpack. 

“Are we really?” Tokiya asks dryly. “It’s been two days and all I’ve seen from you is that you show up to class late and you’re always surrounded by women. The mere fact that you had to _brush off_ your fan group to speak to me should be enough. I have trouble thinking of you as gay as it is.”

“An attractive man is just as appealing as an attractive woman. And we’re _soulmates_. I entertained myself with those women for the same reason they entertained themselves with me- I hadn’t found my own soulmate. They haven’t found theirs.”

“Why is this so important to you?” Tokiya scowls. “I understand not wanting to feel terrible. But I can’t wrap my head around why you’re so insistent that we can’t just coexist.” 

“I’ve been dreaming of meeting my soulmate for most of my life.” Ren says simply. “And you’ve got no choice now. But to be near me. We may as well as get along in the way that we’re meant to.”

“Why are _you_ being so honest?”

Ren sighs. It sounds annoyed. It sounds tired. “We’re soulmates.” 

Tokiya just scowls. “Let’s just get this over with.”

“You still haven’t told me why it’s so problematic that you’ve found me.”

“I have preoccupations. Truthfully, I have half of a mind to just leave for a few hours as it is. You’d be fine.”

“What preoccupations?”

“I haven’t told you yet. What makes you think I’d change my mind now?”

“Because there’s nothing stopping me from following you.”

“And what makes you think that you could?”

“You’re going to be with me until you leave. The one and only reason you have to leave me is to go do whatever you won’t tell me.”

“We have classes.”

“That they’re going to switch for us when they switch our rooms.”

“You hardly show up to classes as it is.”

“It’s a real shame that I’m going to be forced to- but I’m going to start going.” Ren shrugs. “Pain in the ass or not.”

“I’m going.” Tokiya finally scowls. 

“Not without me.”

“We’ll see.”

They make it to the office, and the office is quick to figure everything out. Tokiya and Otoya hadn’t had the chance to get very close- though he was a sweet boy. Tokiya was a bit glad, that he and Otoya hadn’t been able to hit it off because he may have been upset, to lose Tokiya as a roommate if they had. Otoya is going to be taking Ren’s place in his shared room with a man named Masato- someone Tokiya had yet to really get to speak to. 

They switch their classes easily enough, too, because Ren is quick to say that he’ll just join Tokiya in his classes. It helps that they’re both S-class as well. They get out in time for lunch, but Tokiya stops by his room to pick up some lyric sheets that he’ll need after school. He hasn’t figured out how he’s leaving yet, but he’s going to be. He doesn’t have a choice. He’s expected to be there and a soulmate doesn’t excuse anything. 

“I’d rather just eat in my room. Twenty minutes apart won’t kill either of us.”

“If you’re that insistent, I’ll eat in your room with you.”

“Actually, I don’t know that I will be eating during lunch today. If we have to switch rooms, now is my time to do my part.”

Ren had explained that Masato hadn’t unpacked yet- whereas Otoya already had (thanks to Tokiya’s nagging). It was far simpler to move Masato into Tokiya’s room, as it was. 

“And what about after school?”

“I have preoccupations. I believe we’ve discussed this.”

“And where are we going?”

“ _I_ am going to my part-time job. You’re not invited.”

Tokiya almost winces. Ren was getting somewhere because Tokiya couldn’t keep his mouth shut. 

Ren hums. That’s all he gives Tokiya before changing the topic. “Well, we’re down to twenty-five minutes. I normally wouldn’t suggest skipping meals, but I guess that I can make an exception. Let’s get to it.”

“I didn’t ask for your help.”

“I’m not offering, Tokiya, I’m telling you how it’s going to be.”

“I don’t understand how you think we could possibly be compatible.”

“We might get along much better if you’d stop fighting me every chance you get.”

“Well that’s not going to happen.”

“If you keep fighting with me-” Ren clearly has a forced sense of calm. “We’re never going to finish packing you up.”

Tokiya finally quiets, beginning to pack his things silently. Ren watches him for only a second before he steps in to help Tokiya. Tokiya’s bags are set on Ren’s side of his room before the lunch break is over. 

After school, Tokiya manages to slip away by formality alone. 

“You should tell your roommate that he needs to move. I’ll let Ittoki know.”

“You’re going to leave.” Ren accuses. “You can come with me. I’ll go with you.”

“I will be leaving- after I inform Ittoki. I have some principles. And telling my previous roommate that he’s getting a new one is a priority.”

Ren’s jaw tightens. “I’m going to be very upset if I return and you’re gone.”

“I’m sure you would be. But I’m informing Ittoki.”

Ren sighs- but he seems to believe Tokiya. Not that he won’t leave after telling Otoya, but that he’s going to be telling Otoya first. A mistake. He doesn’t know that Tokiya has Otoya’s number. He doesn’t know that Tokiya’s more than willing to just let Otoya know with a text. Tokiya’s standing was more important to him, and showing up on time to his job _was_ his standing. 

When Ren returns, a mere ten minutes later, Tokiya’s already gone. 

Tokiya does gets texts, however, because Otoya very willingly gives Tokiya’s number to Ren upon learning that they’re soulmates. Tokiya turns off his phone. 

Perhaps it was a mistake. Because Tokiya had still been feeling unwell when he left- Ren helped, but he wasn’t a fixall. Not after feeling unwell yesterday and working through it. Not after showing up, feeling unwell and starting to feel worse and then working just as hard. 

Tokiya faints- mid-show.

He wakes up backstage, slung onto a couch. His manager is there waiting for him. Tokiya feels horrible, and nauseous and dizzy. His costume is so constricting. 

The manager forces the story out of Tokiya. Tokiya is forced to explain that he’s this bad because of a soulmate. 

It turns out that soulmates breach his contract. 

Tokiya’s let go on the spot. 

Maybe that’s a blessing. It was hard, balancing two lives, and he had only done it for two days. There were no more reasons to sneak away from Ren- a good thing, considering it was unlikely that he’d be able to get Ren off of his back again. 

Tokiya reminds himself that Ren was only as insistent as he was for _himself_. Not for Tokiya. It was because Ren didn’t want to feel ill. 

But Tokiya actually feels a bit crushed. What a way to fail. 

Soulmates were just trouble. Tokiya had bitten off more than he could chew, and this was his punishment. 

He makes his way back to the school with his head ducked. It was a bit difficult to walk, and it was hard to keep himself awake- he makes his way to the room he had shared with Otoya before remembering that he had to face Ren, because he didn’t have access to this room anymore. His key was now Masato’s. Ren likely had the key that Tokiya needed, and for a long moment Tokiya really does contemplate heading to the infirmary for the night. It was only eight. 

That’s the thought that gets Tokiya to knock on _Otoya’s_ door. 

Otoya answers the door, but when he sees Tokiya, he’s frowning. 

“Tokiya!” Otoya does sound concerned. Tokiya hadn’t gotten comfortable calling Otoya by his first name yet- though the boy had asked him to, the day before. Otoya had no issues using Tokiya’s first name. In Otoya’s mind, roommates meant friends. It was a sweet but unfamiliar thought to Tokiya. “Ren’s been so worried!”

“Doubtful.” Tokiya answers, his exhaustion making his bluntness worse. “He just doesn’t feel well. But he’ll be fine.”

Otoya’s eyebrows draw in at Tokiya’s response. “Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be with him? ...You don’t look very good.”

“I’m just tired. I’m… sorry.” Tokiya’s eyes flicker to Masato- he’s pretty, Tokiya thinks. But he’s frowning, too, and this one is actually pretty harsh. “I should… head elsewhere. Old habits die hard, I suppose.”

That was a terrible excuse, Tokiya realizes. He’s only been in this room for a day. 

But he also realizes that it’s possible that Otoya will tell on him. Tokiya just didn’t have the energy to deal with Ren right now. One night wouldn’t kill Ren. 

One night wouldn’t kill Tokiya. Tokiya assumed. 

“Maybe you should come in and sit down for a minute. Before you leave. Ren’s room is pretty far away…” 

That was a very poor excuse, too. It strengthens Tokiya’s belief that he’s planning to tell Ren. 

“I think I’m going to sit outside for a moment. I believe the cool air will help me. Goodnight, It- Otoya. Hi...jiri...kawa?” 

Tokiya hopes that’s Masato’s last name. He had only heard it once or twice.

Otoya opens his mouth to protest, but Tokiya backs away too quickly. He knew where he’d be headed- there was a nice lake on the campus, with a gazebo and a bench surrounding it. It would be a fine place to hide out. And then he could stop by his new room in the morning to grab his school supplies and to redress himself, and he could avoid Ren until school ended. And he imagined he’d still be tired- and without any after school requirements (beyond homework, but how bad could that be on the third day?) he’d have the freedom to sleep after school. That’s a full day that Ren couldn’t approach him for leaving. 

Tokiya sets himself on the bench to just watch over the water, and he lets his head fall into his hands. 

Tokiya _didn’t_ want Ren to be hurt. He wasn’t trying to punish Ren for being his soulmate. But he didn’t _want_ a soulmate. Tokiya was well aware how poor his personal self-care habits were. He really didn’t think that Ren cared for him right now, but he believes that Ren wants to try. It’s already problematic enough that he feels sick, mere moments after leaving Ren. It’s problematic that he feels as if he’s on death’s door after a mere few hours of working. 

Tokiya had never even felt this poorly in times that he had overworked himself to fainting- as he did today but for different reasons. 

This was going to be difficult but Tokiya doesn’t believe that he can stop it. He can fight Ren on it as hard as he wants to, but in the end, he doubts that Ren is going to drop the soulmate idea. And even if it ended as a platonic soulmate (which is clearly _not_ what Ren is hoping for), it wouldn’t keep Ren from being down Tokiya’s throat. There was no winning situation for Tokiya. 

Tokiya winces when someone sits on the bench next to him. He doesn’t need to look up to know it’s Ren. 

“So Ittoki tattled, I see.”

“You worried the poor thing.” Ren’s tone holds anger. There’s no two-ways about it. “I don’t know why I gave you the benefit of the doubt. I’m not making that mistake twice.”

“There’s not going to be a need. Or a chance, I suppose. My… after school activity has been cut short.” Tokiya lets out a heavy sigh. “Look. I apologize for making you feel worse. But I can’t have given you more than… what? A stomachache? A headache? It was a few hours. I don’t understand why you’re so angry.”

“And you?” Ren’s anger only seems to grow. Tokiya nearly jumps when the back of Ren’s hand finds Tokiya’s forehead. His body’s natural response is actually to lean _into_ Ren’s hand- it felt _better_. His own headache had lessened. The world swayed less. “You’re burning up.” Ren doesn’t remove his hand. In fact, when Tokiya jerks back, realizing what he was doing, Ren turns his hand and presses it back to Tokiya’s forehead, though he’s looking forward, out at the lake. “I understand that I don’t come across as the sweetest or most caring person- but that’s not…” Ren’s voice sounds _vulnerable_. “I… Tokiya.” Ren sighs, and his eyes leave the lake, but only to look further away from Tokiya. “Hate talking about any of this- but when I told you that I’ve always wanted a soulmate, I meant it. Yesterday night I may have been feeling poor, but I was excited, too. It felt too good to be true, knowing that I had found my soulmate. That all I needed to do was… _really_ find them. There was absolutely no disappointment when I saw it was you. It was frustrating, that you didn’t want it too. That you weren’t willing to give it a chance. If you tried- if you really tried and I just couldn’t make you happy… that’s different. But you weren’t willing to consider it. But I… I want to be cared for. I want to care for someone. I want someone that will have my back- to be my best friend, and preferably more. I want to be happy. I want to make someone else happy. I want to make _you_ happy.” Ren sounds close to tears. “I’m not heartless, you know. I don’t act like the nicest person. I know I don’t. But I’m not incapable of caring for someone. It’s… I… I’m trying. But you won’t let me. And it isn’t even only that I’ll die, if you do. I’d feel responsible. I _feel_ responsible. Just this morning you were trying to get me to leave you alone, and now you’re leaning into me like I’m your lifeline.” 

Tokiya realizes that Ren was right. Tokiya was actively pressed to Ren’s side. Ren catches Tokiya’s arm with a dry smile, when Tokiya tries to pull away. 

“My arm is tired.” Ren says softly. His voice is exhausted. “Just stay like this. It’s easier.”

“I don’t know what to say, Ren.” Tokiya’s voice is very quiet, but he does (somewhat awkwardly) stay against Ren’s side. 

“Tell me why. Tell me _why_ you don’t want a soulmate.”

“Tonight.” Tokiya closes his eyes. “I am… I _was_... an idol. Hayato. It’s… hard. To lead a double life when no one is supposed to know, and then I’m forced to stay besides someone that isn’t supposed to know at all times. As soon as they figured out that I did have a soulmate, it was over. They immediately dropped me from my contract. That was… a _huge_ part of my life.” Tokiya’s voice breaks, despite how hard he tried to keep it from doing so. “I don’t _need_ someone to take care of me!” 

“You don’t _want_ it.” Ren’s voice is serious. “If you didn’t need anyone to take care of you, you wouldn’t be hiding this second life. You wouldn’t have lied to me to run away to it. I’d appreciate honesty- and it hasn’t escaped me, that you told me the truth now, even if it was a little too late. But I’d appreciate more of it. Whether you’ll believe this or not, I’m not trying to shame you into being honest when I tell you that I’m doing my personal best to be honest with you- but I _do_ hope you consider that. It’s… sad, Tokiya. I think this could be best for both of us- I don’t think soulmates are supposed to be a bad thing. But it’s upsetting to hear that you don’t want a soulmate because they might _care about you_.”

Tokiya lets out a long sigh, but he chooses to stay quiet. After a long moment, Ren speaks again. 

“I hope you know that I’m addressing your feelings, but I’m not respecting them. I’m not going to force myself on you, but hell if I’m not going to keep you from trying to kill yourself. Whether you want to be my soulmate or not, you don’t have the choice. Now come on. You’re not sleeping outside on the bench.”

Tokiya stays silent, merely scowling, but when Ren sits up, grabbing Tokiya by the arm, Tokiya goes with him to keep Ren’s touch. 

It takes a month, exactly, before Tokiya falls for Ren and Ren’s attempts. 

Ren is arrogant, cocky, and prideful- but that side of him isn’t often shown when it’s just Tokiya and Ren alone. 

Tokiya remembers well when Nanami had approached him with an awe-struck look in her eyes, a mere few days after he had admitted his second-life to Ren, and she had addressed him as Hayato-

Tokiya’s correction was sharp, but Ren had set his hand on Tokiya’s shoulder and had told her the truth. 

_”And just **why** did you need to tell that girl **anything** about me? Just how is **that** supposed to get me to want you as my soulmate?”_

_“She was looking at you like a God, Tokiya. I’m not going to go around the school telling everyone your… ‘ **secret** ’, but you don’t think she deserves to know?”_

_“I don’t see why she does.”_

_“You’ll never be Tokiya to her.” Ren’s voice is serious. “Not when she looks at you as Hayato. ...Did you see the disappointment on her face, learning that you weren’t Hayato?”_

_“So let her.” Tokiya snaps._

_“I didn’t do it for her. What do I care, what the little lady feels, knowing you aren’t her idol? ...I know what it’s like, to be compared to someone else and never being good enough. It doesn’t matter what you do or who you are- you’ll never be enough in that person’s eyes. And maybe the little lamb will never mean anything to you- and maybe she will. You may have had Hayato, Tokiya, but no matter what your reasoning is for having both of them, she’s got it in her mind who she wishes you were. You **disappointed her** , by introducing yourself. That’s not fair to you.”_

_Tokiya grows quiet._

Ren was good at bringing up sensitive topics- particularly about himself. Tokiya couldn’t understand, at first, why he would be as open to Tokiya as he was- but as he learns about Ren he realizes that Ren hadn’t just been _hopeful_ , he had been _desperate_ for a soulmate. 

It wasn’t that he wanted someone to _care_ for him. It was that he wanted someone to _love_ him. He wanted someone to trust- he was _lonely_. 

The more Ren admitted, the more Tokiya slowly opened up to him, too. 

Tokiya didn’t quite understand relationships outside of purely business ones. He enjoyed reading romance novels, but had convinced himself that they weren’t true to life. It wasn’t that he didn’t _want_ what a soulmate relationship could give him, but he didn’t think he’d be any good at it. It wasn’t something he understood. 

He was still slow in understanding. There were still times when Tokiya got frustrated at Ren. Tokiya and Ren had started getting close enough that neither of them felt quite right when they slept across the room from each other, but sometimes Tokiya still did. Sometimes Ren had to skip lunch because nothing he said was good enough to get Tokiya to join him and Ren didn’t like leaving Tokiya alone. Ren still had to watch out during nights because sometimes Tokiya would stay up all night to work- especially when they formed the band. 

STARISH was a strange adjustment, but if it put Tokiya back on stage, he was willing to go with it. 

It went… well. 

Tokiya was almost a bit relieved to leave the dormitories. He was relieved to get a chance to make a name for himself that wasn’t _Hayato_. 

Tokiya was _not_ excited when he learned that he’d be sharing a room with Ren and _someone else_. 

Though it was absolutely bizarre- to be given a performance by a band that was set to be STARISH’s seniors. They’re introduced to the four men (one of whom wasn’t _actually_ there), and nothing had seemed amiss. But as soon as the three men had left, Tokiya stills. 

He felt… ill. 

Tokiya glances at Ren, but Ren’s face shows a bit of discomfort, too. Tokiya sets his hand on Ren’s arm, but the feeling still isn’t _gone_. 

They’re getting a few glances from the other men in their band, but Tokiya and Ren are both _confused_. 

“It couldn’t be.” Tokiya mumbles. “Three isn’t…”

“Isn’t normal.” Ren murmurs. “I don’t know how often that happens. I don’t know if it does.”

“But who?”

Ren’s voice turns grim. “That’s a good question.” Ren then sighs, letting his eyes close. “There are only three.” Ren tries to reassure. “We’ll figure it out.”

“Holograms don’t count as meeting… right?” Tokiya speaks slowly. 

“I doubt it. I find it hard to believe that I had never seen Hayato before. Besides- even if it happens to be, eliminating the three here will answer that, anyways.”

“Wait.” Otoya speaks up. “Did you two…?”

Tokiya’s grip tightens just a bit on Ren’s arm, his heart beating faster in his chest. But he wipes the expression off of his face, trying to remain cool and calm- as he usually presented himself. “There’s nothing certain. Just a strange feeling.”

“You’re looking a bit pale. I’m just going to take Icchi to lay down is all.” Ren’s gotten himself together, too. Tokiya doesn’t love being thrown under the bus (it does tend to happen a lot when there actually _is_ something wrong) but he doesn’t mind it this time. If Tokiya’s not feeling well, it’s assumed that Ren will take care of him. This will give them time to figure this out- or to start to.

“Oh…” Otoya’s eyebrows furrow. “Okay… I uh… hope you feel better soon, Tokiya!”

Tokiya bows his head some, and then he sighs. If he’s going to sell this, he needs to seem irritable. The growing headache he has helps. “It’s entirely unnecessary… but thank you. I suppose.”

Ren sighs, too, but he moves his arm, knocking Tokiya’s hand off, and takes Tokiya to lead him upstairs. Tokiya can feel eyes on his back, but when he glances over his own shoulder and Ren’s, Masato’s gaze seems the most intense. 

It turns out that Ranmaru was the senior assigned to Tokiya and Ren, but they walk into Ranmaru, laying on a bed that must have been _very_ recently added, clutching his stomach. 

He was already tensed, but he completely stills when Tokiya and Ren enter the room, and both men know why. Tokiya’s headache was gone entirely. He felt… fine.

Ranmaru is slow, in sitting up. He isn’t looking behind him yet, seemingly struggling to comprehend what’s going on. And then he finally turns around, and when he speaks, his voice is uneasy. He doesn’t yet make his way to his feet. 

“Who came in first?” Ranmaru's voice is nothing but a grunt. 

“It doesn’t matter.” Ren says quietly. “We both felt it.”

“ _What?_ ” Ranmaru spits. “That’s stupid.”

“It’s true.” Tokiya says quietly. “I hardly understand it either.”

Ranmaru watches them closely, and then his eyes fix on Tokiya. “Can’t be.” He grunts. “‘S gotta be you.”

Tokiya’s eyebrows furrow. “Why only me?”

Ranmaru’s jaw tightens, and then he lets out a sharp sigh. “I knew Ren when we were kids. Can’t be him.”

“That’s not true.” Ren’s voice is careful. “It’s been speculated that the… _pain_ , that comes from not being near your soulmate doesn’t actually start until you’re eighteen. We haven’t seen each other since… well before that.”

“There’s a way to check.” Tokiya says quietly. “You were feeling sick before we entered the room- Ren. Step outside.”

Ren glances at Tokiya with a frown, and Tokiya sighs. 

“There’s no use in being worried about _me_ , Ren. I’m not going to vault out of a second story window.”

“I wouldn’t put it past you.” Ren sighs, but finally, he lets go of Tokiya to step outside of the room. 

It’s as Tokiya begins to feel the loss that Ranmaru winces. 

Tokiya eyes Ranmaru, who is still sitting up on his bed. “You’re not incapacitated. Do you believe us now?”

“Still doesn’t make sense.” Ranmaru scowls. “Two of you?”

“I don’t understand it either.” Tokiya then pauses, and he then shifts, a bit uncomfortably. “What are your thoughts? On… soulmates?”

“Figured I’d have one. No use in bitchin’ about it, yeah?” Tokiya’s wince catches Ranmaru’s attention. “Guessin’ you don’t like it?” Ranmaru’s voice turns flat. 

“I wasn’t a fan, no. It still seems like a pain.”

“Yeah? ‘N why’s that?”

Tokiya sighs. “Being stuck to someone for the rest of your life? That’s not easy. I’m not against the idea of a soulmate, but I would have been fine. Never finding mine.”

Ranmaru’s eyes narrow. “‘N Ren’s comment? ‘Bout vaultin’ the fuckin’ window?”

Tokiya presses his lips into a thin line, just as Ren reenters the room, taking in Ranmaru’s nearly aggressive expression and Tokiya’s tense one. 

“Perfect timin’.” Ranmaru’s voice is still flat. “Why’d you think he was gonna run for it, Ren?”

“He’s done it before. Not _vaulting the window_ , per say, but purposefully avoiding me.” When Ranmaru’s expression turns downright distrustful, now aimed at Tokiya, once again, Ren speaks. “I don’t think it was out of malice. At this point, I’d say I know it wasn’t. It was out of selfish stupidity.” Tokiya winces at that. “He wanted to… I’m not sure. Work himself to death? I’m guessing that Tokiya’s told you that he doesn’t like soulmates?” Ranmaru gives a stiff nod. “It’s because he doesn’t like anyone keeping him from running himself into the ground.” Ren’s hand finds Tokiya’s shoulder, though after Ren’s candid call-out, it isn’t very comforting. “That’s all it is.” Ren promises. “He’s very sweet. Tokiya’s just also very stubborn.”

“ _Ren._ ”

Ren’s voice gentles. “He deserves to know, don’t you think? Unless you agree with Toki, Ranmaru? Are you also against trying to make your soulmates work?”

Ranmaru’s still side-eyeing Tokiya, but he responds. “I’m not. Mostly not into feelin’ like shit, ‘r stayin’ near people I don’t get along with.”

“We’ll work fine.” Ren assures. Tokiya glances back, because there’s a tone to Ren’s voice that’s almost a bit strained. “I think we may have a conversation or two to be had, Ranmaru, but I can promise you that Toki isn’t who you need to worry about here.”

“Yeah.” Ranmaru’s full attention is back on Ren, but his jaw is still tight. “We’ll see.”

It takes a bit less time with Ranmaru than it had with Ren- and it’s largely because _Tokiya_ is still the person that’s the most unsure about all of it. But having already softened up to Ren helps, because Ren is a very good middleman between Ranmaru and Tokiya, even if it includes a lot of Ren calling Tokiya out. 

Ranmaru is quick to realize that he doesn’t feel right with distances as little as across the room. 

_”How much more comfortable d’ya need ‘t be ‘fore we’re all sleepin’ in the same bed?” Ranmaru asks, clearly grumpy. It’s right before bed._

_“Is it really that bad?” Tokiya’s eyebrows furrow. “I know it’s not comfortable-”_

_“It’s real hard ‘t sleep. With both ‘a ya over there.”_

_“Ren.” Tokiya mumbles. “You should sleep over there tonight.”_

_“Toki.” Ren’s voice is sharp and stern._

_“That’s not what I’m sayin’, Tokiya.”_

_“I need a few more days. Ren. You should sleep over there.” When Ren’s scolding expression doesn’t change, Tokiya sighs. “I’m not going to run out the door or leap out the window. I’ve nowhere to go. I’ll be right here. Across the room.”_

_“Let ‘im.” Ranmaru grumbles. “Bet he’ll be changin’ his tone soon.”_

_Tokiya and Ranmaru seemed to alternate between getting along and fighting. It was never consistent._

_They still fought less than Tokiya and Ren had, in the beginning._

_Ren hesitates, but then he finally sighs. “If you change your mind and you don’t want to join us, tell me.” Ren finally relents and heads to Ranmaru’s bed._

_At first, it isn’t a big deal. It never is at the start of it._

_It does start getting harder near the hour mark- it was always unpleasant, in the times that Ren and Tokiya fought enough that Tokiya wanted to sleep in a separate bed._

_But then it gets **bad**. It felt like he wasn’t even in the room with them. It keeps him awake. _

_It also sends a stab of guilt through him, knowing that Ranmaru had been experiencing this for the week and a half that he had been in their relationship._

_Tokiya winces when he turns onto his side. He can’t be sure that neither of them are watching him, but it’s too dark to see just how he’s handling it. Tokiya doesn’t sleep that night._

The morning after that, he had still gotten up to get ready for the day ahead of him. He had never seen Ranmaru’s face as relaxed as it was that morning. 

“How did you sleep?” Ren’s voice is gentle, though he sets his hand on Tokiya’s shoulder as Tokiya’s getting dressed, and it’s so much worse. Because it’s just a bit of relief- but it’s not enough. It just makes him sleepy. So Tokiya casually brushes off Ren’s hand. 

“I slept fine.”

“I know that’s bullshit.” Ranmaru scowls. “‘Cause I’ve been sleepin’ alone for a week ‘n it’s miserable.”

“I slept fine, actually.” Tokiya repeats, more firmly this time. “It was a bit unpleasant, sure- but I didn’t mind the extra room.” 

Suddenly, an almost unsure expression crosses Ranmaru’s face, and it catches Tokiya’s attention.

“Will you step outta the room for a minute?”

Ren frowns. “Ran, you don’t think-”

“I dunno.” Ranmaru’s eyes haven’t left Tokiya. “Either he’s fuckin’ lyin’ or we’re not actually soulmates.”

Tokiya is surprised to find that _hurt_ is the first feeling that courses through him. Tokiya swallows hard, but he nods. “Let me finish getting dressed and then I will. I’d rather not be caught in the hallway in my pajamas.”

Ren’s eyebrows are drawn in- he looks almost a bit helpless. 

Tokiya steps outside. But that’s not where he stops. 

Tokiya leaves the shared home. It’s not a difficult feat, to call a car to head to campus, either. He had a very specific destination in mind. He had things to think over. Things to consider. 

Ren had never questioned them being soulmates. Ren had never asked him to step aside to check. Tokiya never thought it would bother him. How hypocritical.

Tokiya finds himself on the bench near the pond. It’s warm out- just a tad bit too warm to sit comfortably, but he stays there anyways. 

His phone is ringing, but he only reaches into his pocket to turn it off. 

An interesting thought crosses his mind. 

He knows that if he stays away from them for too long that he really could die- but he isn’t sure if they would. After all, the pain was much, much greater when he was away from _both_ of them. The pain, for them, was manageable. He knew that. It was a pain you could function through. 

Tokiya’s missing work. He doesn’t think he cares. 

Maybe he _does_ care more about his soulmates than he thinks that he does. Ranmaru was trying. Maybe Tokiya was being too harsh. After all- yesterday, Ranmaru had _asked_ Tokiya to lie in bed with him… right?

If Tokiya goes back, and they’re not just livid with him, maybe he’ll start trying to make things work. 

Tokiya has to move to the gazebo. The sun was becoming annoying, and mixed with the pain it started to feel unbearable. 

No one finds him. He thinks that they may have been searching, because he hears people, talking too quietly to hear. He only knows that they were men- he hadn’t looked to see who they were. After all- worse case scenario, he was Hayato. Best case scenario, he was Tokiya Ichinose. If it weren’t Ren and Ranmaru, he could draw unwanted attention. 

And he was afraid. He was afraid to face Ren. He was _really_ afraid to face Ranmaru- because he may have enforced the idea that Ranmaru and Tokiya weren’t compatible. Tokiya had already realized that messing up his soulmate relationship would hurt him more than he thought it would- he didn’t want any confirmation that he had ruined it. 

Tokiya can’t quite fall asleep, and he’s in quite a lot of pain by the end of the night. He doesn’t even attempt to go to his shared room until well after midnight. Ren and Ranmaru are in the bed. Yesterday, Ren had held Ranmaru, the same way he usually held Tokiya, but today Ranmaru seems to be holding Ren- Tokiya feels horribly guilty when he looks at Ren’s face. Even in the dark, it’s obvious that Ren had been crying. Tokiya didn’t really need to guess why. 

He slowly and quietly closes the door and slips off his shoes, to make his way to the other side of the room. 

They were bunk beds. All of the STARISH members got bunk beds, but Ren and Tokiya had just dealt with it. 

The bunk bed actually felt quite large, when Tokiya wasn’t squeezed in with Ren. 

Tokiya lies awake- he’s exhausted, but there wasn’t enough relief to just be in the same room with them, and his mind was racing with his guilt. 

Tokiya isn’t sure how they’re going to react, waking up and seeing him. 

He only has two guesses- and the first is that they just let him sleep. He doesn’t think that Ren is going to leave the room without him, though. Really- Tokiya doubts that he’s ever going to get out like this again. 

His second guess is that Ren will end up climbing into the bed with him. He genuinely thinks that this might be more likely, despite everything else in him assuming the first. 

Even as exhausted as he is he does realize that Ren’s anger really is coming from worry. That Ren can be angry and upset at him, but still have all of those stem from caring for Tokiya. 

Tokiya is still awake when Ren chooses the third option. 

Tokiya feels someone peel the blanket away from him, and Tokiya does try to shake his head- he tries to sit up. 

“Don’t.” Ren’s voice is probably the scariest that Tokiya has ever heard it. “You stay still, Tokiya.”

Ren worms his hands underneath Tokiya to lift him up completely, and Tokiya’s eyes fly open, but he can’t emotionally fight Ren right now, even if he were capable of it physically. Ren brings him to Ranmaru’s bed, where Ranmaru still is. 

When Tokiya is laid in the middle, he squirms a bit, but it only wakes up Ranmaru. Ranmaru’s eyes are dark but Tokiya’s already starting to feel his lack of sleep, now that he has some relief from the pain. 

“You two can settle your differences later.” Ren’s voice is strained. “Hold him, Ranmaru.” 

Ren’s tone holds no room for argument and Ranmaru doesn’t even try. When his arms wrap around Tokiya, too, Tokiya just closes his eyes. It’s hard to relax, but it’s too easy to fall asleep. 

Tokiya’s not surprised that both Ren and Ranmaru are awake when he wakes up, though it seems to be early morning and Tokiya can only guess that he slept through the entire day. 

“We need to talk, Tokiya. But first you need to be very honest with us. Are you in pain right now?”

Ren’s hand finds Tokiya’s chin, but instead of turning his head towards himself, he turns it to Ranmaru- the man that he’s facing. Ranmaru is quiet but his eyes do search Tokiya’s face. 

“I’m fine.” Tokiya mumbles. “It doesn’t hurt.”

“‘S hard ‘t tell but I think he’s bein’ honest.” Ranmaru grumbles.

“Then you should start, Ran.”

Ren’s hand doesn’t release Tokiya’s chin. 

“Look, Tokiya- ‘M sorry for doubtin’ you. I would’a tried ‘t be more sensitive if I knew you’d care. But I know that it hurts, stayin’ even that far away, ‘n the only way that you weren’t _in pain_ was if we weren’t soulmates. ‘S pretty obvious now that you were just lyin’.”

“Ran could have been gentler about it- but it’s not just his fault, Tokiya.” Ren says sternly. “This is why you can’t just… lie to us. I thought we were over this. I genuinely believed that you wouldn’t leave. It was a _minute_ , Toki. Maybe. We had rehearsals cancelled and the boys searching for you- because this is _serious_. It was serious with just you and I, but after hearing Ranmaru describe the pain, particularly the first day… It’s _serious_. What happens if you stay out too long and you don’t feel well enough to come back? This is life and death. I understand that you’re upset, but this can’t be how you handle it. You’re not leaving without us. You’re not sleeping in the other bed alone- we’re all sleeping on this one. I’m thankful you came back, but I’m still not happy that you didn’t wake either of us up when you did. I’m sorry that it’s difficult for you. I understand that you’re having trouble with the soulmate situation but this isn’t how you’re handling it, and that’s final. If you can never get along with Ran… it’s what I’d like to happen the least- but you at least need to get comfortable with the idea of living and working together with him, because you don’t have a choice in that.” When Tokiya is silent, Ren’s voice drops. “I need you to tell me that you understand.”

“I do.” Tokiya’s voice is hardly audible. “I’m sorry.”

For the next few days, Tokiya is uncharacteristically quiet. Finally, Ren stops him one night before bed, to turn Tokiya’s head towards him. “Talk to me, Toki. I’m not sorry that I got on you as hard as I did- but I wasn’t trying to make you regress.” 

“You’re angry, but I needed to leave.” Tokiya swallows hard, not meeting Ren’s eyes. He can’t keep his posture straight. He’s small- much smaller than usual. “I’m trying to come around on the idea, that it can be alright. But until the other night I hadn’t had enough time to myself to even try to start to come around to it.”

Ren frowns. “I know you well enough to know that your lack of independence is hard on you- if being alone didn’t hurt you, I wouldn’t be as against it. Of course I hope that you decide that you want to get along well with us- and that you’d like to let us be… more active than we are now. Because even me, Toki… you let me be near you, but you don’t _let me in_. I can do my best- to step away for a moment, but I can’t truly give you space.”

“It’s a good thing, perhaps. That Ranmaru joined. He’s giving you more… activity than I’ve been.”

“You’re not givin’ me a fuckin’ chance ‘t try anythin’ on you, Tokiya. I know the other day left a real bitter taste ‘n your mouth, ‘n I can’t blame ya for why- but you act uninterested. I’m not sayin’ you need ‘t change who you are- but just give me a chance. Give Ren. We’re not out ‘t get you. Wish you wouldn’t fight so hard, just because people ‘r tryin’ ‘t keep you safe.”

“I’ll try.” Tokiya’s head is bowed. Ren gently tilts his head back up. 

“I’m not trying to make you feel like you’re in trouble for trying to gather your thoughts. That’s the last thing I want to do. Thinking isn’t dangerous, Toki- I’m just trying to make sure it doesn’t _get_ dangerous.”

“I know. Can I sit on the other bed by myself for a moment?”

Ren sighs, but he lets go of Tokiya’s face. 

“Of course.”

It takes nearly two months for Tokiya to get comfortable enough with _both_ of them to begin to do ‘relationship’ things, and even then, Ren and Ranmaru had gotten comfortable with it far before Tokiya had. 

_”I’m sorry, Toki.” Ren sighs, setting a plate of food on the desk in front of Tokiya. The only time either of them would leave him alone were in times like these- if he were being stubborn (particularly with eating), and even then only one of them ever left the room. They trusted each other far more than they trusted him. “But if not forcing my care on you is what’s going to get you to agree to this, then you’re not going to be agreeing with this. I want you to expect this, whether you choose to take a more active part in our relationship or not.”_

_Tokiya opens his mouth- planning to fight Ren on it. **’You may be able to make me sleep, but you can’t make me eat.’** Tokiya closes his mouth, leaving his words unsaid. He simply nods. _

_Ren sighs, but it’s a sigh of relief. He’s glad Tokiya didn’t fight him on it. It was a step forward._

“Are you resigned, Toki?” Ren’s voice is careful. Ranmaru was further in the room, playing his bass, but Tokiya had felt tired and had chose to join Ren in the bed, curling into Ren’s side. 

Tokiya doesn’t move, closing his eyes. “I’m just trying, Ren.”

“Then that’s good. I’m very glad to hear that.”

Tokiya sighs a bit, when Ren sets his hand on Tokiya’s side, but it’s a pleasant noise, at least. 

Tokiya wasn’t _forced_ to stay in the middle- if he’d prefer to stay on the side, Ren would take the middle, but Tokiya stays in bed for the rest of that night. Ren does have to get up a few times, but when he’s back, Tokiya chooses to press himself back to Ren’s side. When Ranmaru climbs into the bed, Tokiya doesn’t move, staying in the middle of the bed. 

“If you want to touch me.” Tokiya mumbles, not opening his eyes. “I don’t mind. You don’t have to, of course.”

Ren’s arms were already around him, so the statement _was_ to Ranmaru- but Ranmaru doesn’t hesitate to listen. 

“I hope you both know that my problem with soulmates isn’t… it’s not because of either of you. It’s not that I’m… unhappy that either of you are my soulmates. I’ve been trained for most of my life for this idol job- and it’s… rough. I got lucky with Ren, and being in a band with him, but what about _your_ band, Ranmaru? I’ve experienced it with Hayato. It’s just… encompassing.”

“‘M not tryin’ ‘t be inconsiderate, but it’s useless. Tryin’ ‘t fight the fact that you _’ave_ soulmates. That battle’s lost. You tryin’ to deny it is only makin’ _you_ miserable.”

“He’s not wrong.” Ren’s voice is far more gentle than Ranmaru’s. “And you’re not out of this job. Ran isn’t either. It’s a little tricky, but the Agency works with us. It’s not perfect- but finding a soulmate isn’t a death sentence. It isn’t _meant_ to ruin your life.”

“Wish you’d stop lettin’ it.” Ranmaru sighs. “I can tell that y’still don’t really think I give a shit about you, but you’re wrong. I want this ‘t work. Just as much as Ren does.” Ranmaru squeezes Tokiya’s hip, where his hand is resting. “You’ve been kind of a pain in the ass- but when you’re not, you’re nice ‘t be around.”

Tokiya sighs, shaking his head, but his sentiment is genuine. “Thanks.” Tokiya takes a long moment, and then he ducks his head, pressing his forehead against Ren’s collarbone. “...I’ll… try.”

“You’ve been doing well. Whether you realize it or not.” Ren squeezes Tokiya gently. “I think we’re going to make this work fine.

“It’s taking me an awfully long time.”

“But you’re taking steps in the right direction. And we have the rest of our lives. Take your time Tokiya. It’s never going to be too late.” Ren smiles- and while Tokiya can’t see it, he knows it’s there. “A few months ago you weren’t willing to be near me, and now you’re here. Between us on the bed.” Tokiya feels Ranmaru give his hip another squeeze. “That’s enough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The soulmate AU for this one was that you have to stay near your soulmate, because if you stay away for too long you get very sick, and can die if you're away from them for too long.


	2. Scent

When Tokiya was three, he had been gifted a bear. It was a brown bear with a purple ribbon wrapped around its neck- and for years he had never thought anything of it. 

It always smelled a very particular way, no matter how often he slept with it (or on it). It was difficult to describe- but it was a very heavy scent, with just the faintest hint of fruit. It made him feel safe. By the young age of five, he wasn’t able to sleep without it. 

When he’s entering highschool, he finally learns that his bear could be significant- because everyone that had a soulmate got an item and it matched their soulmates perfectly. Which confused Tokiya a bit- because it wasn’t as if he’d just carry his teddy bear around with him. And it was an assumption as it was, that it _was_ the teddy bear. 

Tokiya never really forgets about it, but he also doesn’t dwell very heavily on it, either. Tokiya _wanted_ a soulmate- but he wasn’t sure how he’d ever go about finding who his was. Even if the bear had something to do with it, _he_ never carried around his bear. And he didn’t really have any other items that felt very important to him. 

He still slept with the bear, every night. It was a bit strange when he had started sharing his room with a roommate, but Otoya was a good sport and he never made fun of Tokiya for it. It was the most childish item that Tokiya owned. 

Tokiya’s life progressed. He thought more and more about his soulmate, the older that he got, but there wasn’t really a way for him to search for his soulmate. He’d have no idea where to start or where to look. 

And he’s still pretty happy as it is. He’s in a rapidly growing band, currently under the mentor of a band that is his senior in the industry. 

Well… maybe not _completely_. They all may have been older than him, but he did still have all of his time as Hayato still under his belt. He tries not to think about his Hayato days too often- but sometimes he got caught up in them. And sometimes when he was having hard days, and he got lost in his thoughts, he could feel his panic building. 

When Tokiya worked his way up to a panic attack, he’d have to step outside. There was a spot usually used for smoke breaks that was almost always empty- not very many of them smoked. None of the boys in STARISH that Tokiya knew of, and he hadn’t _seen_ any of Quartet Night smoke, either. 

Until today. 

Tokiya excuses himself out to the smoking section, visibly distressed before he even fully gets there, but Ranmaru’s eyes catch on Tokiya’s the moment that he steps out. Ranmaru is leaning against the wall, a mostly gone cigarette still in his hand, though he ends it putting it out against the bricks behind him when Tokiya walks out. 

Tokiya has a few things he could say, but he’s not feeling well enough right now to say them. He just shakes his head and begins to backtrack with a quick, choked out, _”Sorry._ ”

“Wait.” Ranmaru pushes himself off of the wall, and Tokiya finds himself freezing on principle. “You look like shit. You okay?”

“I wasn’t trying to bother you. Sorry.” Tokiya just turns away, but he’s stopped with a hand on his shoulder. That’s not what makes him freeze. 

What makes him freeze is the _smell_. 

It must have been cologne, because there was no natural scent that was that _heavy_ , but there was a backend scent there, too- something pleasantly fruity. 

“Tokiya.” 

Tokiya realizes that Ranmaru must have said something else, something that Tokiya hadn’t heard. His eyes are wide, but he turns to face Ranmaru completely. Ranmaru’s expression had been just a bit annoyed, but it turns into confusion when he looks at Tokiya’s face.

“This is going to sound insane.” Tokiya says quietly. “But can I hug you?”

Ranmaru really looks confused now, but he slowly retracts his hand from Tokiya’s shoulder. “Yeah, sure.”

Tokiya doesn’t hesitate the way that he should to step forward and wrap his arms around Ranmaru’s torso. 

“Oh.” An understanding hits Ranmaru, and he does wrap his arms around Tokiya as well. “‘S the bear, yeah?”

“..Yeah…” It’s Tokiya’s turn to be confused, though he still hasn’t let go of Ranmaru. “How did you know?”

Ranmaru sighs, and Tokiya realizes that he’s actually a bit embarrassed by the question. “It’s the smell on the bear. You’ve got… the same smell.”

“Oh.” A wave of realization hits over Tokiya. “I thought it was the item. I didn’t even realize that it was the smell. ...I guess it makes sense now. You…” Tokiya feels his entire face heat up, and then he clears his throat. “Nevermind.”

Ranmaru seems a bit curious, as to what Tokiya was going to say, but he lets Tokiya drop it. Tokiya stays in the hug for an absurdly long time, but Ranmaru doesn’t force him off of him. 

It was different than the bear. Tokiya felt safe and comforted when he had his bear (that he had nicknamed Honey), and he still felt the same, surrounded by Ranmaru. But he also felt warm, and protected, when he was in Ranmaru’s embrace. It made it hard to leave. Especially because he felt better. Better than he would have, had he just come out here with his previous intention of letting out his panic alone.

Tokiya is slow when he finally releases Ranmaru from the hug, and he swallows hard, his eyes staying on Ranmaru’s shoulder. “Thank you.”

“I mean, apparently we’re soulmates.” Ranmaru’s voice is a bit gruff. “Dunno that a hug is that crazy, Tokiya.”

Tokiya gets an almost sheepish grin. Ranmaru seems to search Tokiya’s expression, his mismatched eyes flickering across Tokiya’s face. Ranmaru grunts. 

“You feelin’ better?”

“I am. Thank you.”

Another grunt. “You off any days next week?” 

Tokiya blinks, a bit surprised, but he nods. “Tuesday and Wednesday afternoon, after nine in the morning.”

“Then Tuesday. How about we meet for lunch?”

“Al...right. Yes. That sounds good.” Tokiya can feel his heart beating faster in his chest. 

Ranmaru nods. “I’ll get your number from Ren. Probably ‘bout time ya head back in. ‘Fore people get worried.”

“Of course. Thank you again, Kurosaki.”

“Ranmaru. Y’don’t need ‘t bother with the last name shit.”

Tokiya pauses, but then relents. “Ranmaru.” 

With that, Tokiya heads back inside. 

Honey takes on a new meaning to Tokiya, now knowing _who_ the scent on him belonged to. The night after discovering it, he sleeps with the bear clutched tightly in his arms. 

The night after they had gotten lunch together, he had fallen asleep with his face pressed to the bear’s stomach. 

Honey usually stayed very close to him at night, but after discovering Ranmaru, Honey became even more crucial to Tokiya falling asleep. 

Halloween had come around and passed, and Tokiya had actually spent the night with Ranmaru, just sitting in his shared room to make dinner and watch a movie. Reiji and Otoya had decided to throw a small party- excited at the holiday, but that meant that a few bandmates and a few strangers were in Tokiya’s room and he had no interest in being there. 

Luckily, Ranmaru was introverted, too. 

And Ranmaru’s arm, wrapped tightly around Tokiya, was bringing him comfort from the stress that was beginning to creep up on him. He was glad that Ranmaru didn’t react, when Tokiya would set his cheek against Ranmaru’s shoulder. He tried to make it subtle- but Ranmaru’s scent really did help Tokiya. Smell has always been something that Tokiya was sensitive to. 

Ranmaru had admitted that he wasn’t quite as attuned to the scent of Tokiya as Tokiya was to Ranmaru- but that he had definitely recognized it, from the bear as a kid. 

Ranmaru had admitted that he had sold the bear with all of his other possessions- though through another member of Quartet Night it had fallen back into his possession. He didn’t keep his bear out- but he had named him Christopher and Christopher did have a place in Ranmaru’s closet. Tokiya didn’t mind- but he also didn’t feel like now was the time to admit that he couldn’t sleep without his own bear. Ranmaru already had an idea of how in tune Tokiya was to his scent. 

“I should head out.” Tokiya sighs. “I’m sure my apartment is a disaster.” 

“Try not ‘t stress out too much.” Ranmaru squeezes Tokiya’s shoulder, but hesitantly removes his arm from Tokiya’s shoulders. It warms Tokiya’s chest that Ranmaru seems just as hesitant to leave Tokiya as Tokiya is to leave Ranmaru. 

“I’ll do my best.”

“Text me if y’need to. I’ll keep my ringer on.”

Tokiya smiles as he gets up. “Thanks, Ran.”

“Course.” Ranmaru presses a kiss to Tokiya’s temple before Tokiya actually gets out the door. “Stay safe.”

“I’ll do my best.” Ranmaru rolls his eyes, but it’s good natured. 

Tokiya doesn’t expect anything good when he walks into his trashed apartment, but he can feel his heart stop when he notices that his own bed is a mess, too. He had been told that his bed and his items wouldn’t be touched. Tokiya is fast to go to his bed, throwing back the sheets to begin to search it, his heart racing in his chest. 

The apartment is empty. Reiji and Otoya are who knows where- so there’s no one there to tell him where on Earth his stuffed bear could have gone.

It was very fast to send him into a panic. Normally, Tokiya was respectful of his roommate’s things, but in his search for Honey he doesn’t care- trying to thoroughly search the room. 

He can’t find him. 

And when Tokiya finally gives up on both searching and trying to call his roommates, he finally just sinks down onto his bed, letting himself be upset. 

Tokiya honestly wasn’t sure what he’d do without Honey. It was one of the few static things in his life. It was his comfort object. 

Tokiya tries to lay down and just sleep miserably, but his bed smells _wrong_. Tokiya always knew that he was sensitive to the scent, but he was only realizing the _extent_ tonight. He gives it a good hour and a half of being too anxious to sleep before he finally gives in and grabs his phone. It’s only a bit past ten. 

**Ran**

_Are you still awake?_

**Ran;** _awake enough_   
**Ran;** _whats going on?_

Tokiya hesitates, but enough time passes between Ranmaru’s last message and Tokiya’s response that Ranmaru just calls him. 

Tokiya does pick up, though it’s clear quickly that he’s upset.

“Hello?”

“So somethin’ is wrong.” Ranmaru doesn’t quite sound like he was asleep, but it does sound like he was getting there. “What’s up?”

“My bear is missing.” Tokiya’s voice is quiet. “And I’m having trouble sleeping because of it.”

“...’R your roommates in?”

“They’re not. I’ve tried to call them, to try to get answers, and they won’t pick up, either. But the apartment’s a mess and there’s alcohol bottles everywhere. I’m sure they’ve probably gone to another room and passed out.”

“Then I’ll be over. Give me five minutes.”

“...Okay.”

Ranmaru does hang up, but Tokiya doesn’t actually get out of his bed- even when Ranmaru enters the apartment. His back is to the door, but he hears it close and he can hear Ranmaru’s heavy footsteps. Tokiya finally turns just before Ranmaru actually makes his way to Tokiya’s bed. 

Ranmaru is in sleep clothes- sweats, a sweatshirt and socks, though he’s holding a shirt in his hands. There was only a hallway between Tokiya’s room and Ranmaru’s, so it doesn’t surprise Tokiya that Ranmaru didn’t bother with shoes, but his eyebrows furrow at the shirt. 

And then they raise because Ranmaru tosses the shirt towards the end of Tokiya’s bed and strips himself of the sweatshirt that he’s wearing, tossing it towards Tokiya. 

“Move over.”

Tokiya takes the sweatshirt, but he does move closer towards the wall of his bunk bed. It’s a bit of a tight squeeze when Ranmaru climbs into the bed, too, but Tokiya can’t say that he minds. 

“I’m… confused.” Tokiya admits. 

“‘M gonna stay in ‘ere tonight- but I can’t do that every night. Least not ‘til the master course is over, while we’ve gotta share rooms- but ‘til you find your bear, I was thinkin’ that maybe that might help. The shirt’s just ‘cause I don’t wanna walk through the hallways half naked tomorrow.”

Tokiya’s grip tightens on the sweatshirt, viewing it very differently now. He swallows hard- his upset isn’t only upset right now, but his emotion is very close to showing through in tears. Ranmaru reaches out, still sitting up at the moment, to wrap his arm around Tokiya’s shoulders. 

“Talk ‘t me.”

“It’s silly.” Tokiya’s voice breaks, but even with Ranmaru next to him, he still clings to the sweatshirt, bringing it closer to his chest. “But the bear means a lot to me. I left the apartment with the understanding that my things would be left alone- and to see that they haven’t been… to see that something as important as that is _missing_... I hadn’t even left it on top of my bed, either. He was buried in the covers. But I’ve searched every inch of this bed and I’ve looked all over the apartment and I don’t know where he is. I… oh my God this is going to sound ridiculous-” Tokiya gives a humorless, bitter laugh. “The bear makes me feel safe. It’s… this sounds creepy but it… it’s the scent. It sets me at ease. I’ve always felt… protected. And safe. When I have the bear. I feel vulnerable without him.”

“‘S not silly.” Ranmaru’s arms tighten further against Tokiya. “‘N honestly I’m kinda pissed, hearin’ about it. Kinda annoyed seein’ your shared room, too. Holidays ‘r fine ‘n all, but you were hidin’ in my room ‘t avoid it. Wish they’d care more about you ‘n what you wanted. ‘N ‘t at least respect your boundaries. But we’ll find your bear. ‘N until we do, we’ll figure stuff out. If the sweatshirt doesn’t work, I’ll think ‘a somethin’ else.”

“It should.” Tokiya says quietly. “It’s not the same- but it’s… it’s still good. But… tonight…”

“I’ll stay tonight.” Ranmaru assures. “Came over plannin’ to. Why don’t ya get on the sweatshirt ‘n then we can lay down.”

Tokiya nods. Normally, he would hesitate in stripping his shirt off, even in front of Ranmaru- but after everything that had happened in the past twenty minutes alone, Tokiya has far less issues in changing his shirt. He hesitates with his own shirt for a moment, before he just tucks it towards the bottom of the bed. 

“I could probably just throw it on the floor.” Tokiya sighs. “The room is trashed anyways.”

“Don’t clean it.” Ranmaru reminds. “I’ll help you fix your part ‘a the room, if you don’t want those idiots touchin’ your stuff right now, but leave the rest ‘a it ‘t them. You don’t need ‘t deal with it.”

Tokiya manages a weak smile. “Thanks.”

“‘S good, too. That you called. I’d rather sleep in bed with you anyways. But speakin’ ‘a bed- it’s way past my bedtime.” 

Tokiya’s smile comes just a bit easier at that, but he lets Ranmaru lead him down. Ranmaru’s grip on Tokiya is comfortable, but it’s also very tight and protective and comforting. Tokiya sighs, but it’s the lightest one of that night. 

“The sweater helps.” Tokiya admits. “But not nearly as much as having you in bed with me does. It’s going to be hard to give up sleeping with you. ...Sleeping in the same bed as you.” Tokiya ducks his head, pressing it to Ranmaru’s chest at his accidental phrasing, but Ranmaru only chuckles at it, but then he stops, to press a kiss to the top of Tokiya’s head. 

“Another month.” Ranmaru reassures. “Soon as the master course is over, we can get a place that’s just us. ‘N then we can share a bed every night.”

Tokiya sighs again- but this one is happy. “I’m looking forward to it.”

It takes a week before Honey is found. 

Otoya and Reiji insist that they don’t know what happened to him or who had gone near Tokiya’s things. 

Ranmaru’s sweatshirt isn’t a perfect fix, but he manages to get into an uneasy sleep the first two nights of having it. After being unable to sleep the third night, he speaks to Ranmaru about it and he gets a new sweatshirt from Ranmaru on the fourth. It was difficult, to wear it but to keep Ranmaru’s scent on it- Tokiya’s own washing it out. 

The next time Tokiya approaches him, Ranmaru does still give him another sweatshirt (rotating back to the first he had given Tokiya), but he also sends Tokiya off with the rest of what he had in his cologne bottle. Tokiya sleeps better that night after spraying his pillow with the cologne that night. 

Tokiya never learns who had taken the bear, because it’s left outside of their room with no notes, or explanations, or witnesses. Tokiya chooses to just be relieved that he has him back. 

Tokiya still doesn’t return the sweatshirt- and he still doesn’t give back the cologne bottle, either- but his sleep comes far easier when he has Honey back. 

For the rest of the master course, however, the bear doesn’t leave Tokiya’s person. He refuses to leave him alone in the room, choosing to instead carry the bear with him in his bag everywhere that he goes. 

Ranmaru doesn’t actually learn about where Tokiya keeps Honey until they officially get to move in together, when Ranmaru notices that Tokiya takes the bear out of his everyday bag, rather than one of his packed ones. 

Ranmaru’s eyebrow raises. “When did ya put ‘im there?”

“He’s always in here. ...Well- he wasn’t _always_ , but after…” Tokiya’s expression turns sour at the memory. 

Everything else had been unpacked. They were just moments from getting into bed- and Tokiya is already in Ranmaru’s sweatshirt. Ranmaru puts two and two together quickly, realizing that Tokiya is going to be bringing Honey to bed with him, but he keeps his eyes on Tokiya, and he holds out his hand. 

“Can I see ‘im?”

Tokiya does feel a flash of nerves, but he slowly holds out the bear. Ranmaru turns to open the closet- and before Tokiya can say anything about it, Ranmaru settles Honey right next to Christopher. 

“I-” Tokiya’s face is red. Ranmaru looks back, expecting an argument about putting Honey up- and he’s partly right, but not quite in the way that he thought he was going to be. Tokiya isn’t angry, either. He’s a bit embarrassed. “Can we move them? Just… somewhere more open than the closet.” 

“‘Course.” This was a demand that Ranmaru could meet. It was keeping the bear out of the bed. And it wasn’t that Ranmaru thought the bear was necessarily a terrible thing- but Tokiya didn’t need the bear, if Ranmaru were in the bed with him. He was glad that Tokiya seemed to agree with that, too. Ranmaru still sets both bears together, on a shelf in their room. 

Tokiya gets an almost faraway smile, watching them. “They’re cute. Thank you.”

“No need ‘t thank me. But c’mon. We should get layin’ down.”

Tokiya nods. 

When they both get into bed, they move at the same time, towards each other. Despite having only spent one night in bed together before, they both find their positions easily, Ranmaru’s arms wrapping around Tokiya and Tokiya curling into Ranmaru’s chest. 

“I’m glad that I have Honey.” Tokiya mumbles, letting his eyes close, though he can’t help his teasing smile. “But I do have to give you that you’re far more comfortable to cuddle with than the bear.”

“Thanks.” Ranmaru’s voice is dry, but Tokiya can see the amusement through it. “Now go ‘t sleep.” 

Tokiya chuckles, though he opens his eyes just before they get too heavy to do so, and he feels at ease, seeing the outline of the matching bears in the dark, leaning against each other. Tokiya lets his eyes close- Ranmaru’s soft snores already starting, and in the end, they help lull Tokiya to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Soulmate AU in this one was that everyone gets an item with the same scent as their soulmate.


	3. Dye

Masato remembers standing in front of the mirror at the young age of eight, admiring his eyes. For his entire life they had been a dark brown, nearing black, but they had changed to a very light grey. 

For the next twelve years of his life, they had never changed back. 

Of course- Masato had figured it out. Because as a young boy he had spent his time with a boy named Ren and an older boy named Ranmaru. He had always known Ranmaru to have grey hair, but that wasn’t even the largest tell. 

Ranmaru’s eyes were the exact same royal blue as Masato’s hair. 

Masato didn’t know it at the time, that Ranmaru was his soulmate, but when he had gotten older and had heard the truth behind eye color. Not everyone had a soulmate- but Masato had a dead giveaway. 

Masato’s eyes had changed color. The grey of Ranmaru’s hair wasn’t a natural color- at least not for what must have been a ten year old boy. That was one of the stipulations of eye colors, when it came to your soulmate- your hair matched the color of theirs _at the time_. 

That’s why Masato’s first question upon re-meeting Ranmaru at the start of the master course was -

“Is your hair naturally brown?”

Ranmaru had seemed a bit taken aback, at first, and then an understanding (if a bit wary) look crosses his expression. “Depends on why you’re askin’.”

“I think you’re my soulmate.” Masato’s gaze is intense, and steadier than he could have hoped for it to be. 

“Y’seem real sure.”

“It would be awfully coincidental.” Ren is in the room with them. He’s watching them both, but he’s uncharacteristically quiet right now. “That your eyes perfectly match my hair. And vice versa.”

“Maybe we’ve just got weird colored eyes.”

“My eyes used to be brown.” Masato challenges. “And then they turned _grey_ when I was eight. The exact shade as your hair. I’m not the type to gamble, but I would bet money that you dye your hair- and that you _have_ for a very long time.”

“You knew me when we were kids. My hairs always been grey.”

“I met you _after_ my eyes changed color.”

“Fine. I’ll at least give you that. Still dunno that it’s real proof that we’re _soulmates_.”

“Then I suppose we’ll have to get to know each other, yes? I’m sure that will be proof enough.”

“You askin’ me on a date?”

“Those weren’t my words exactly.” Masato finds himself with a sly smile on his face. “Unless you happen to be asking me out on one. In which case, I’d gracefully accept.”

Ranmaru rolls his eyes. “Cheeky.”

Ren sighs, heading further in the room. “I think you two are going to work out fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The AU was that your eye color matches the hair color of your soulmate, but changes if they dye their hair.
> 
> (i know i directly state most of them in the fics, haha, but i like to put the prompt anyways. sorry that this one was shorter.)


	4. Timer

When Tokiya was born, the small timer on his wrist started. 

It looked almost like a tattoo, though it changed. It had two numbers, separated by a semi-colon. The number that stood for days was at 1,670 and the hours were at 13. 

As he grows, at first, it’s just fun, watching his numbers change. Some children have numbers far smaller than his are, and some have numbers that are much, much longer. 

The first thing that Tokiya learns about it is that it has something to do with his soulmate- a person that is going to be perfect for him. His other half. That was exciting. 

But he’s also told that when his timer counts down, it means that his soulmate has died. _That_ was _not_ something he was excited about. It had him very stressed for quite a few years in his life, especially as he got older. When he had learned that fact, he only had ten years left on his timer. 

He was going to lose his soulmate very young. Before he’d have any real chance to get to know his soulmate, and that really, really upset him. Even not knowing who his soulmate was. It was just the idea that he may never _get_ to have a soulmate. He would excuse himself from any conversation that included the timers that nearly everyone had on their wrists. 

It was easier to ignore his timer when he was an idol- but sometimes, at night, he’d stay awake watching his timer. It was getting uncomfortably low. 

The day that his timer was set to run out was the first day of his new school. 

Tokiya really wanted to make a good impression, but he could actually feel his eyes burning behind the indifferent mask he had carefully put on that morning. His eyes stuck to his wrist. At this point, the hours and the days were gone. Now it was counting down seconds and minutes. When his last minute counts down, he stands from his chair, grabbing his bag and rushing to the door. 

Class had started a mere ten minutes ago, but Tokiya couldn’t convince himself to stay. He’d get himself together elsewhere, and then he’d come back. 

His counter was down- it was below ten seconds. In his rush to exit the room, he doesn’t notice the handle already turning. He aids the person on the other side in opening it, and he nearly slams the heavy wooden door directly into his nose. While he does manage to avoid injury, he doesn’t manage to keep his balance, falling down onto the floor, a mere five seconds before his timer runs out. 

The man outside the door had actually been glancing down at his own wrist as he had entered, but after noticing that he had knocked Tokiya onto the floor, he does offer a tanned hand. Tokiya’s timer hits zero the second his hand touches the man’s, but the second that he’s on his feet, he’s out of the room. 

“Wait!” The man’s voice is almost a bit strained with his surprise, but Tokiya doesn’t stop, trying to search out the nearest restroom. He manages to save his breakdown until he’s just inside of the door. It’s incredibly lucky that no one else was in the bathroom. 

At least, not when Tokiya first entered. 

The man that he had run into in the classroom had followed him. It wasn’t difficult, Tokiya later realizes, because Tokiya wasn’t exactly subtle in his attempt to run away. 

Tokiya had yet to even get into a stall, to attempt to hide himself, but when he’s no longer alone, he tries. The man isn’t fast enough to keep Tokiya from entering the stall- but he’s quick enough to _slip into_ the stall before Tokiya can try to close it. Tokiya backs up further, but his tears have already started. After ten years of working himself up to this, it was hard to control himself. 

“Please leave me alone.” Tokiya’s voice breaks.

The man actually looks a bit hurt. “Why?”

“I- you’re- you’re a stranger. I don’t need to tell you.” 

Tokiya is holding the wrist with his timer against his chest, but the man’s eyes snap to it. “Did you hurt yourself when you fell?” His eyebrows pull in. 

Tokiya is pressed against the wall. The man has stayed against the door, but there’s no way out for Tokiya. “I’m fine. Please leave.”

“Your timer ran out, right?” The man says quietly. He holds out his own wrist, pushing his bracelets back as he does. His timer was at zero. “Mine did too.”

“I’m sorry.”

That puts a bewildered expression on his face. “I don’t understand.” His expression turns a bit more uncomfortable. He lifts his hand rubbing the back of his neck, his long, orange hair falling over his wrist. “I… can’t say I _understand_ not wanting to find your soulmate but…”

“What…? You… the timer…” Tokiya grips his wrist tighter, struggling to understand. “I lost my soulmate… the… the timer is a death timer…”

The discomfort is back to confusion. “A death timer?”

“It counts down to losing your soulmate.” Tokiya hangs his head. 

“No it doesn’t.” The man’s head tilts. “It’s a countdown to _meeting_ your soulmate. It’s why our timers ran out at the same time.”

“To… meeting…?” Tokiya does look up at this- though he knows his face is a mess without being able to see it. His voice had been shaking, and there were tears on his cheeks, his eyes still shiny with them. His pauses were full of hiccups and sniffling from his stuffed nose. 

“I’m not sure who told you that it was a death timer- but it really isn’t. Come on. Why don’t we get out of this stall so you can wash off your face.”

“You’re my soulmate?” Tokiya doesn’t yet move.

“I am. And you’re mine.” The man manages a slightly strained smile, clearly taken aback by this entire situation. “I’m Ren.”

Tokiya lifts a hand, almost without thinking, but stops himself before wiping his nose on his wrist, grabbing a bit of toilet paper to wipe his nose off instead. “Tokiya.”

Tokiya finally lets Ren lead him out of the small stall and he does wash off his face. 

“Where _did_ you hear that your timer counted down your soulmate’s life?”

“Online.” Tokiya mumbles. “Through forums. Some paper articles, even. Through rumors from friends or classmates. I’ve thought this for… years. I believe I was around the age of ten.”

“I’m… sorry that you’ve believed that for so long.”

“I’m sure that I’ll be glad I was wrong.” Tokiya mumbles. “But I’m too worked up to even take that in right now.” Tokiya pauses for a long moment, and then glances at Ren. “Why were you so late to class?”

Ren shrugs. “Do I need a reason?”

“Is that just… something you do?”

“I’m probably late more often than I’m on time.” Ren gives. 

“I’m not.” Tokiya focuses back in the sink, and then stills, to let his head drop. “God, I can’t believe I ran from class on the _first day_.” 

“Well- you’ve already left. Let’s skip.” 

“Skip…?”

“Yeah.” Ren turns his head again, grinning. “I already have my dorm set up. We can just go there.” Ren offers a hand, and Tokiya is very slow to take Ren’s hand- but in the end, he does. Ren’s comfortable way of holding Tokiya’s hand, even going so far as to lace their fingers together, gets Tokiya’s heart beating quickly in his chest. Ren leads Tokiya out of the bathroom. 

“You’re really my soulmate?” Tokiya asks, his voice too soft. 

“I am.” Ren confirms. “My timer ran out, as soon as I reached to help you up.”

“...I always thought that I’d live most of my life without a soulmate.”

“That’s not the case.” Ren’s sapphire blue eyes focus on Tokiya’s face. “What do you think of that?”

Tokiya’s attempted laugh is very weak, and a bit out of place. When it stops, he can’t even quite manage a smile. “I was… as upset as I was because I thought I wouldn’t _have_ a soulmate. I’ve wanted to find mine my entire life.”

“Good. Because I’ve been looking forward to this moment for most of mine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This AU is that everyone has a timer counting up to meeting their soulmate.


	5. Drawing

Tokiya had never thought much about the mascots that the shining company had- from the idols themselves. 

The biggest example was Piyo-chan- though Tokiya took that one with a grain of salt. He understood why Natsuki was often related to Piyo-chan, because the man’s love for it was genuinely adorable. Tokiya believed it fit him well, even if it wasn’t actually _Natsuki’s_ intellectual property- like Otoya’s music note. It was another one that Tokiya found was both cute and fitting. There was also Camus’ seagull, though that one wasn’t official. Truthfully, Tokiya enjoyed Camus’ art. It was cute.

Then, there was Tokiya’s own- his penguin. At first it was a bit flustering. After all, his artwork had gotten very large. But Tokiya loved drawing, and while he didn’t consider himself an incredibly talented artist, he enjoyed his own drawings and liked watching his improvement, so the penguin becoming bigger wasn’t anything that Tokiya minded. 

The last that Tokiya could think of was one that he never spoke of, and for good reason. Rock-kun, Ranmaru’s skull icon, was something that Tokiya actually did think was cute, but it was one that he had trouble escaping. 

The first time Tokiya had seen the skull had been before he had ever met Ranmaru Kurosaki- he was only sixteen, and Quartet Night had just begun getting popular. Tokiya had just happened to see Ranmaru’s autograph one time, and he really hadn’t thought much of it, until later that night when he had gotten undressed for a shower and had noticed something strange on the inside of his bicep. 

Tokiya had been flooded with quite a few emotions- and the first was actually excitement. He had found his soulmate, after all. Examining the drawing closer was very obvious- and while Tokiya is actually a bit relieved that the only part of Ranmaru’s autograph that had engraved itself into his skin was the skull, he was a bit amused to see that _part_ of Ranmaru’s autograph had carried over, because the skull still had ‘eyebrows’. But the next thing that hits him is dismay. What was he supposed to do about this? Tokiya was an idol- Tokiya was _Hayato_. Dating as an idol was looked down upon. And Ranmaru was an idol, too. An idol that Tokiya had never even met. 

Of course, Tokiya had spent the rest of that night doing some research on Ranmaru. It was a month in of watching interviews and listening to his music and overall researching Ranmaru when Tokiya had found himself crushing on Ranmaru. It also helped Tokiya’s decision to go live a second life at Saotome Shining’s school when he could. Why wouldn’t he want to go to the school under Ranmaru’s agency? 

Tokiya liked to daydream about actually meeting and coming clean to Ranmaru, but he didn’t really think that he ever would. 

When he meets Ranmaru, he finds that to be true. He doesn’t avoid Ranmaru in the slightest- but when they become friends, Tokiya never reveals the drawing on his arm. He’s very careful to hide it- from _everyone_. Even Otoya doesn’t know. After all, the skull was incredibly recognizable. 

It’s only a few days after Tokiya’s penguin gains some traction when Tokiya gets a knock on the door of his shared room. At this point, the master course was over, and Tokiya and Otoya were back to being roommates by themselves. Tokiya could have moved out, but Tokiya wasn’t actually thrilled at the idea of living alone and Otoya had asked Tokiya to stay his roommate, much more open about not wanting to be by himself. 

Tokiya is shocked, at first, to see Ranmaru- Ranmaru’s expression a bit more than serious. His eyes are narrowed, and he’s quick to enter Tokiya’s shared apartment, closing the door behind himself. Tokiya can’t even begin to question Ranmaru when Ranmaru pulls up the sleeve of his leather jacket, showing off the penguin, covering a decent part of Ranmaru’s forearm.

Tokiya’s words die in his throat, his eyes widening. “I- Kurosaki-”

“Think we’re a ‘lil past that, yeah?” Ranmaru scowls, letting his sleeve fall back down. 

“I’m- I’m sorry.” Tokiya takes a step back, but Ranmaru takes a step forward. “I’m not… not sure why you’re so angry.”

“You knew.” Ranmaru’s eyes are still narrowed. Tokiya hasn’t stopped moving back because Ranmaru hasn’t stopped moving forward, until Tokiya’s back is pressed against the wall further into his apartment. Ranmaru isn’t touching him, but if Tokiya leaned forward, his chest would press against Ranmaru’s. “You had to. Right?”

“Why would-”

Ranmaru’s new, dangerous look gets Tokiya to stop talking. “Don’t bullshit me, Tokiya.”

Tokiya swallows hard, but then he manages to straighten himself. He can’t manage an angry look, even pretending, but his look is at least a bit more steady now. “Tell me why you’re so angry, finding out that we might be soulmates.” He demands.

Ranmaru’s silence isn’t because Tokiya spoke back. Ranmaru’s looking at Tokiya a bit like he’s an idiot. “You’re fuckin’- what do you mean _might be_? I’ve got your fuckin’ penguin on my arm. But I’m not answerin’ anythin’ until you tell me that you knew.”

“Why do you assume I did?”

“Because I’m not stupid? There’s not a single way you ‘aven’t seen my skull ‘fore right now.”

Tokiya’s jaw sets, but then he finally sighs. “...Yes. Alright? I knew.”

“When?”

“Quite some time before we actually met. I saw your autograph… sometime in my teens? But I’ve answered your question. Now answer mine.”

“I’m _angry_ that you knew this whole fuckin’ time that you were my soulmate ‘n you never even bothered ‘t bring it up. Where’s your drawin’?”

Tokiya sighs, but with a bit of struggling, he manages to pull his sweater down enough to show most of the skull on his arm. “I didn’t think it would mean much. I hadn’t even considered that you’d find out like this.” Tokiya admits. 

“Why?”

Another sigh- Tokiya closes his eyes. “I saw your autograph by chance, because you were an idol. I learned of you, as Ranmaru Kurosaki of Quartet Night. You were a _celebrity_ Ranmaru. It was a strange way to attempt to get to know you. But regardless of _that_ \- we’re idols.”

“That sounds like somethin’ we should’a talked about _together_.” Ranmaru’s hands lift, landing on either side of Tokiya’s head, thoroughly trapping him against the wall. 

“Excuse my assumptions-” Tokiya had already felt a bit trapped, but now that he _really_ is, he can’t but to glance around. He had been nervous already by Ranmaru’s proximity, but this was worse. “But I didn’t think you seemed like the type to care all that much about soulmates.” 

That was _clearly_ the wrong thing to say, because Tokiya can see the way it hits Ranmaru flash through Ranmaru’s eyes, and Ranmaru leans in a bit more. Tokiya can’t possibly move back further unless he manages to phase into the wall. He can’t even avoid Ranmaru’s eyes- Ranmaru is too close. “Y’don’t think that’s somethin’ ‘t _ask_ about? Y’get _one_ soulmate. Even if _you_ didn’t want one, y’don’t think it’s somethin’ worth at least bringin’ up ‘t me? You _knew_ , Tokiya.”

“I’m sorry.” Tokiya mumbles. “I really didn’t expect you to be this angry about it.”

“I don’t get it. _Are_ you not lookin’ for a soulmate?”

“No.” Tokiya’s answer comes too quickly, his expression looking a bit startled. “That’s not it at all.” 

“Then what was the point in waitin’?”

“It was… nerve-wracking, alright?” Tokiya admits, closing his eyes to avoid looking Ranmaru in his. “Between… well, I… learned of you before I knew you. So I… believe I idolized you, at first. And then at any opportunity that I could tell you- there was just always a reason not to.”

“What does that mean? What reasons?”

Tokiya winces. “This is going to sound stupid.” Tokiya will not open his eyes. “But there are people that date others that aren’t their soulmate for a _reason_. I’d hate to be a… _disappointing_ soulmate.”

“Jesus, Tokiya- not givin’ it a chance isn’t gonna change that.” Ranmaru lifts a hand, pinching the bridge of his nose. He finally pulls back, away from Tokiya- and that’s when Tokiya finally opens his eyes. “‘N don’t forget that this is a really _stupid, coincidental_ way ‘t find your soulmate. Not everyone gets the chance. _That’s_ why so many people don’t care about findin’ their soulmate. We’re compatible.” Ranmaru actually sounds a bit annoyed. “That’s the point. Soulmates leavin’ soulmates really isn’t a common thing.”

Ranmaru does stay a step away, but he doesn’t move back further, crossing his arms across his chest. 

Tokiya’s voice comes out a bit weak. “So what now?”

“We spend more time together, obviously.” 

Tokiya hesitates for a long moment, but he finally nods. “Alright.” 

Tokiya hadn’t actually expected Ranmaru to settle himself on Tokiya’s couch- but that’s exactly what he does. He does end up giving Tokiya a moment to collect himself. Or maybe that moment is really for Ranmaru- trying to collect _himself_.

The conversation, at least, is far more comfortable when they actually do get to speaking. Ranmaru doesn’t bring up the soulmates or the drawings again that visit, keeping it to a conversation that isn’t unusual for the two of them, though it goes on longer than most of their discussions do. Ranmaru doesn’t end up leaving until after dinner that night- because Otoya shows up just as Ranmaru was about to leave and invites him to stay. 

Tokiya doesn’t expect Ranmaru to turn down an offer for food, and unsurprisingly, he doesn’t. 

Ranmaru does start showing up more to Tokiya’s apartment, but the conversations are never quite as intense as when Ranmaru first accused Tokiya of hiding the fact that they were soulmates.

The next time it’s brought up is by _Tokiya_ \- quite a while after they had mutually agreed to move from friends to partners. They still kept it discreet, for both of their fan bases, but Tokiya had moved out from living with Otoya to move in with Ranmaru. The next time he brings it up is after a period of time spent on his phone.

Tokiya’s attention had been caught by a tweet from a fan, talking about the design of his penguin. 

**”its really ugly lol but honestly id deal with it if that were the price to be his soulmate <3”**

**”i know right!! a true testament of love having _that_ on your body….”**

“I’m sorry.” Tokiya mumbles, glancing up from his phone at Ranmaru. Ranmaru only just hears him over the noises from the bass in his lap. Ranmaru’s eyebrow raises, but before he can question Tokiya, Tokiya continues. “About the drawing that you’re stuck with. Especially so… large. And in such an open area.”

Ranmaru’s eyes narrow, but he sets his bass down on the couch besides him. “‘N why’re you apologizin’ about it?”

“It’s just… not a very good drawing, is it? Especially to be stuck with for the rest of your life.”

“Stop sayin’ _stuck with_.” Ranmaru scowls. “Where’d this even come from?”

“I’ve noticed a few fans commenting on it- the drawing, I mean-”

“So? Fuck ‘em. I like it.” Ranmaru’s statement is enough to get Tokiya to fumble over his words, long enough for Ranmaru to stand. He takes Tokiya’s phone from him, tossing it the short distance over to the couch and setting his knee on the chair, besides Tokiya’s leg. Ranmaru’s hands find the back of the chair, hovering over Tokiya. Tokiya’s eyes are just a bit too wide when they meet Ranmaru’s. “It’s _stylistic._. ‘S cute. ‘Sides. Fans ‘r supposed ‘t support you. If they’re shittin’ on your art then obviously they’re not a _real_ fan.”

“You… really like it?” Tokiya’s voice is careful. Ranmaru scoffs. 

“Wouldn’t say I did if I didn’t, Toki.”

Tokiya reaches up to cradle Ranmaru’s face, gently leaning in to connect their lips. Ranmaru turns the kiss a bit more aggressive, but Tokiya pulls away before he’s out of breath, stopping no more than an inch from Ranmaru’s lips to mumble- “Then I suppose their opinions don’t matter. It’s _your_ skin that the drawing is on. And if you’re happy with that… then I am as well.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This AU was that when you see one of your soulmate's drawings, it's marked onto your skin.


	6. Lies

Tokiya had gotten lucky. 

There were certainly ways to discover if he and Ren or Ranmaru were soulmates- but it didn’t really bother Tokiya if either man were his soulmate or not. He was happy being with them. He knew that all three of them couldn’t be soulmates, but it certainly didn’t mean that he wasn’t happy with them. Being in a three-person relationship wasn’t a very common thing in a world where being in a relationship with someone that _wasn’t_ your soulmate was already pretty uncommon, but Tokiya had fallen for both of them and had fallen hard. He was extremely glad to know that they both felt the same- about him, and about each other. 

It was _very_ possible, Tokiya found, to love them- soulmates or not. 

Tokiya was somewhat aware of the telling signs of being soulmates- he knew it had something to do with _lying_. At first, he had been very nervous about getting into a relationship. He was watching his words, nervous about being called out on a lie; maybe even one that he didn’t know he was telling. But neither of his partners had ever mentioned anything about it, and Tokiya wasn’t quite sure how the “lying” worked as it was. And if he _were_ soulmates with either of them, they must not have lied to him- because nothing has happened on his side. 

And then the day had come where Tokiya had gone to work, extremely sick, and he had ended up fainting after getting offstage. It was a production of Polaris- so Ren and Ranmaru were nowhere near the set that day. He’s let off only a bit early, because he had finished the actual show- luckily, in his opinion, though Natsuki and Cecil’s worry didn’t escape him. He had apologized profusely to the cast before he had left- he didn’t like leaving before he helped clean that day’s performance up, but the director had sent him home, in hopes that he may be able to recover fast enough to perform the next day. 

Tokiya’s slightly early arrival home isn’t cause for alarm, and his heavy stage makeup hides his exhaustion. Tonight, he was supposed to make dinner. Knowing that he had shows, Ranmaru had already set up the meal prep for him, but Tokiya heads straight into the kitchen. If he could get his nightly obligations done now, he could lie down sooner. 

“You okay?” Ranmaru’s eyebrow raises when Tokiya heads directly into the kitchen without a word. 

“I’m fine.” Tokiya assures, already opening the fridge. 

“Really?” Ranmaru’s disbelieving tone gets Ren’s attention. “Nothin’ serious happened?”

“Nothing serious happened.” Tokiya sighs. “I’m just a little tired.”

Ranmaru actually seems to tense up when Tokiya speaks, but Tokiya freezes, too, because he notices something on Ranmaru’s arm- where Ranmaru’s eyes have traveled. 

Tokiya steps forward, his eyes a bit wide. He gets close enough to see two sentences written on Ranmaru’s forearm. 

**I’m fine.**

**Nothing serious happened.**

Ranmaru doesn’t actually seem surprised to see the words, but Ren’s eyes are trained on Ranmaru’s wrist. 

“What happened?” Ren’s voice is serious, his eyes focusing on Tokiya’s face. Now on that train of thought, Ren’s eyes glance towards his phone, checking the time. “You’re home too early.”

“Wait- I… Ranmaru?” Tokiya is struggling to take everything in, but Ranmaru shakes his head. 

“This first. Obviously somethin’ happened. We can talk about everythin’ else later.”

Tokiya sighs, his eyes closing. “It’s nothing.” 

Another sentence appears on Ranmaru’s wrist. 

“Tokiya-” Ren’s voice is warning. 

“I’m just not feeling very well. That’s all.” 

Tokiya opens his eyes in time to see part of his sentence appear on Ranmaru’s arm. 

**That’s all.**

Tokiya scowls, glaring at Ranmaru’s arm. 

“Cut the shit.” Ranmaru’s eyes are still focused on Tokiya’s face, his expression intense. “Just tell us what the fuck happened.”

Tokiya sighs, running a hand over his face. “I wasn’t feeling well. It took a toll on me today.”

“A toll?” Ren pushes.

Tokiya pinches the bridge of his nose. He was starting to get a headache. “I pushed myself a bit too hard and I fainted. It was a few hours ago, at this point. I’m fine.”

This sentence is a repeat on Ranmaru’s arm. 

**I’m fine.**

“You _fainted_?” Ren’s eyebrows raise, and then lower. The look he gives Tokiya is dangerous. “If you were that sick, you shouldn’t have gone in.” Ren finally stands. “Come on- you should go lay down.”

“It’s not that bad.” Tokiya insists. “I can at least make dinner.”

**It’s not that bad.**

Ren’s eyes glance towards Ranmaru’s arm- his forearm is now more words than visible skin. 

“Stop lyin’.” Ranmaru sounds frustrated. 

“Nothing is going to come out of it.” Ren’s voice finally softens, just a bit, as he reaches Tokiya. His touch is _definitely_ gentle, as he begins to lead Tokiya to the bedroom. “We know you don’t feel well, now- and you need rest. There’s no lie that you could tell to get us to let you continue running yourself into the ground.”

Tokiya sighs, and while he’s letting Ren lead him into the bedroom, it doesn’t stop him. “I could at least finish dinner. Sick or not, I have responsibilities.”

“You’re human.” Ren reminds, a bit sharper. “As much as you like to ignore that. You shouldn’t have gone to work at all today- and if you’ve _fainted_ , dinner _is not_ your main concern right now.”

“He’s right.” Ranmaru grunts. Tokiya hadn’t seen him get up, but Ranmaru is following them to the bedroom. Ren doesn’t stop leading Tokiya until he’s by the bed- and when Ren speaks to him next, he turns to watch Ranmaru’s arm. 

“How unwell are you feeling right now, Toki? Is it hard to stand.”

Tokiya sighs. “A bit.”

Nothing shows up on Ranmaru’s arm. 

“Are you downplaying it?”

Another question from Ren. Tokiya’s eyes close. “A bit.” 

Ren gives a slightly exasperated sigh. “Lay down.” Tokiya isn’t necessarily fast to climb onto the bed, but he does lay down, choosing to stay on top of the blankets. For now, Ren doesn’t force him under the sheets. 

Tokiya’s eyes focus on Ranmaru. “How long have you known?” Tokiya’s voice is just a bit uneasy. 

“A while.” Ranmaru grunts. “Usually your lies ‘r real dumb shit. I don’t normally call y’out. It’s not normally serious.”

“But we’re soulmates…” Tokiya’s eyebrows furrow.

Ranmaru makes an affirmative noise. “I wasn’t hidin’ it. If that’s what you’re implyin’. We’re already datin’. What does it matter, soulmates ‘r not?”

“I… suppose you’re right.” Tokiya relents. Ren’s hand lifts, running it through Tokiya’s hair. 

“Get some rest.” Ren’s voice has gentled again. “You must be tired.”

“...A little.” Tokiya’s pause was just a bit too long, but Ren and Ranmaru don’t react. 

“If you’re hungry later, I’ll bring you food. Ran and I won’t have any issues dealing with dinner tonight.”

Tokiya stays quiet, but Ren and Ranmaru take it as an affirmation. 

That night, Tokiya is forced to rest. Or, at least that was implied. Tokiya genuinely felt like shit, and after he had fallen asleep, he had stayed asleep. 

“How’re you feelin’?” Ranmaru’s voice is a bit cautious, when he enters the room the next day to see Tokiya getting ready to leave for his show. 

“I’m fine.” Tokiya doesn’t stop getting ready. 

Ren had overheard the end of the conversation, but he’s quick to turn Ranmaru’s arm- not believing Tokiya. Tokiya doesn’t need to look to know that there are words on Ranmaru’s skin. They seem to reset every morning. Tokiya sighs. 

“How sick are you, Tokiya?” Ren’s tone is warning. 

“A… bit better than yesterday.”

“But not much.” Ren finishes. 

Tokiya’s silence is an answer in itself. 

Ren sighs. “Get back into bed, Toki.”

Tokiya opens his mouth to argue, but Ranmaru cuts him off. “You’re sick. ‘N yeah, that sucks, but ‘s not like you can help it. Get back ‘t bed.”

Tokiya sighs, closing his eyes, stilling completely in front of the closet until Ranmaru steps forward, to help lead Tokiya back to the bed. 

“I have a performance.” Tokiya mumbles. 

“You’ll be doing no fans any favors by passing out on stage.” Ren reminds. “I’ll handle the phone call.”

Tokiya shakes his head at that, but Ranmaru doesn’t relent in leading him back to the bed. 

Ren steps out of the room as Ranmaru gets Tokiya under the covers. Whatever expression crosses Tokiya’s face gets Ranmaru’s attention. “What?”

“...I don’t… I don’t know that I’ve ever noticed any lies- but it sounds like you’ve known this for a while. Do I… lie to you often?”

“I told you. It’s dumb shit. ‘N when they aren’t serious lies, things like white lies, they’re real faint. You’ve probably had a couple ‘a those ‘n you just haven’t noticed ‘em. This one was more serious- ‘n yeah, that’s a problem. But the reason I’ve never called you out on the others is because there wasn’t anythin’ ‘t worry about. Dunno that I’ve ever been mad ‘r hurt at any ‘a the others that I’ve noticed. So don’t worry about it, alright?” Ranmaru’s hand rests on Tokiya’s forehead, and the weight is comforting. Enough that it gets Tokiya to close his eyes. “We’ve got this all figured out. All you need ‘t do right is just rest up.”

Tokiya lets out a soft sigh, but Ranmaru’s hand doesn’t move, and Tokiya’s eyes don’t open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The AU for this one is that when your soulmate tells a lie, it's written on your skin.


	7. Locket

“I didn’t know that you wore your locket.” Ren comments, leaning against the wall next to Tokiya. Tokiya’s back was against the wall, but Ren is leaning on his shoulder, looking at the silver locket that Tokiya is holding in his hands. Tokiya gives a muted nod. “You’re looking at it like it’s going to bite you. What’s going on, Icchi?”

“Earlier this morning.” Tokiya mumbles. “I heard a click. I… I think that it opened.”

“Oh?” Ren’s eyebrow arches. “Are you going to open it?”

“I don’t know.” 

“Aren’t you excited? You’ll finally get to see your soulmate.”

“I know I should be.” Tokiya won’t look up at Ren. “But I… think I know who it’s going to be. And I don’t know if I want to be right.”

That does seem to get Ren’s interest. “And who do you think it’s going to be?”

“I think it may be Nanami.” Tokiya admits, closing his eyes. 

“Why don’t you want to be right about that? The little lamb is pretty, no?”

“She’s a lovely woman- but I have no romantic interest in her. And I know that there _are_ platonic soulmates, but I had always assumed I’d find my partner when I found my soulmate. ...But more than that, I think she _does_ like me romantically. ...I wonder if maybe she’s already seen inside of her locket.”

“Why not look? ...You could ask her, even. If you really don’t want to look.”

“...Would you?”

Ren gets quiet for long enough that it makes Tokiya look up at him. Ren’s expression is almost thoughtful. “I already know my soulmate. I checked the moment I heard my locket open. ...But just because that’s what I chose to do doesn’t mean that you need to. If you aren’t ready to open your locket- your soulmate isn’t going anywhere.”

“You sound so sure.” Tokiya mumbles. “They could always find someone else that isn’t their soulmate.”

“That isn’t very common, is it?”

“It’s not common- but it isn’t impossible. ...But did you figure it out? Why your locket opened?”

“I can’t tell you for sure, but I’m… very close to my soulmate. I can only imagine that must have something to do with it. It hadn’t unlocked when I met my soulmate-” Ren gets a smile, but it’s a very faraway one. “Or perhaps it had something to do with feelings? I feel a very certain type of way about my soulmate.” Ren’s laugh sounds fake, but Tokiya doesn’t question it. 

“Who is it?”

Ren shakes his head. “I’m afraid that’s something that I’m not ready to tell you.”

Tokiya glances down at his closed locket, tucking it back into his shirt as he nods. “I understand.”

Ren reaches out, squeezing Tokiya’s shoulder, and he offers Tokiya a small smile. “We should get back to rehearsal.” 

Tokiya just nods. 

It’s a week later when Tokiya approaches Ren. Ren’s eyes fix on Tokiya’s face. 

“You haven’t been sleeping well, have you?”

“I haven’t.” Tokiya admits quietly. “I’m going to open the locket. Would… would you stay with me while I do?”

Ren’s eyebrows furrow, but he nods. “Of course. But why don’t we go somewhere more private?”

“Alright. My room should be empty.” 

On the walk to the room, Tokiya fiddles with his locket.   
“Do you still think that it’s the little lamb?”

“I think so.”

“Do you still hope that it isn’t her?” Tokiya nods. “Is there someone that you’re hoping it is?”

Tokiya glances away from Ren, but right before Ren gives up on an answer, Tokiya delivers. “...There is… someone. But I’m well aware that it’s possible to fall for someone that isn’t your soulmate. Are… are you happy with your soulmate, Ren?”

“I am.”

“Have you… excuse my forwardness, but have you done anything about them yet?”

“I haven’t. I’ll speak to them eventually, I’m sure- but now isn’t the time.”

“You said your locket unlocked after you… how did you put it? _Felt some sort of way?_ ”

Ren can’t help the smile, and he gives a low chuckle. “It’s a crush, Icchi. My locket unlocked when I realized just how… _strongly_ I felt towards them.”

Tokiya resists the urge to groan. “Then I’m almost sure my soulmate is platonic.”

“You don’t have any crushes?” Ren teases. 

“That isn’t what I said. But I’m fairly sure that my crush isn’t my soulmate.”

“Oh? Why so sure?”

“We’re here.” Tokiya mumbles, taking his key out and dropping the subject. Ren doesn’t miss that, but he doesn’t push. Tokiya opens the door. Ren’s voice is almost amused when he speaks next. 

“You said you _thought_ your room was empty?”

“...Yes?”

“Icchi- there’s only one bed. You live alone. ...Why wouldn’t it be empty?”

Tokiya gets quiet, but when Ren glances at his face, he grins. Tokiya’s face is red. When he realizes that Ren is looking, he just heads into his apartment, leaving Ren to close the door. 

Tokiya settles on his bed, leaving plenty of room for Ren to sit next to him, which Ren does. Tokiya chooses to take off his locket completely, cupping it in his hands. 

“Maybe I shouldn’t be so afraid.” Tokiya says quietly. “...I just… know who I wish my soulmate was. I just don’t think that… _their_ picture is going to be in my locket.” Ren stays quiet, watching Tokiya. Tokiya’s eyes close, his grip tightening on the necklace. “I’m sorry, Ren. It’s… I…” Tokiya takes a deep breath. “It’s you.” He blurts out. He covers his face with his free hand. 

Ren’s hand covers Tokiya’s, over the necklace. His voice is gentle. “Open the necklace, Icchi.”

Tokiya’s hands shake as he does, though it takes a long moment for his eyes to open, and for his hand to drop. He has to fumble with the necklace but it gives him a few minutes of not needing to look at Ren’s face. 

When Tokiya finally thumbs open the locket- it’s Ren. The picture is actually Ren’s school picture from the first year that Tokiya knew him. Tokiya freezes, his eyes on the locket. Ren’s arm wraps around Tokiya’s shoulder to pull him into his side. 

“My locket unlocked about the same time I think yours did. I’ve known that I liked you- but it _was_ a recent development. ...I don’t think I was surprised. But it’s hard to remember. Because it couldn’t have been an hour later when I saw you leaning against the wall, and at first I thought that it was because you _had_ opened your locket. And I suppose I could have saved you some anxiety by telling you… but if you weren’t ready, I didn’t want to push you. And of course I was hopeful that you felt the same that I did- but I wasn’t ready to just assume that.”

“I’m relieved.” Tokiya admits. “And I’m not angry that you didn’t tell me. ...If only because _I_ didn’t put it off longer. I don’t think I would have been happy had I pushed it off a lot longer. But you… you _like_ me… right?” Tokiya’s voice turns a bit uneasy. “In a… non-platonic way?”

Ren sighs, but it’s a bit amused. He squeezes Tokiya, and his tone is teasing “I _like_ like you, Icchi. To tell you the truth, I’ve always thought that my soulmate would be romantic, too.”

Tokiya nods. “I’m… also relieved that it wasn’t Nanami. ...I wasn’t looking forward to that conversation.”

“You made it awfully hard on me to keep my mouth shut, speaking about all of this.” Ren admits. “Knowing you were wrong but trying not to just tell you that you were.”

“I was very off-base.” Tokiya gives, though his voice slips into something that’s almost a grumble. “I had gotten my thoughts stuck on it.” Tokiya’s thumb runs over the picture inside of the locket, and he closes his eyes, a small smile growing on his face. “I’m glad. At how this worked out. ...We still have a few hours before we need to do anything involving work.” Tokiya opens one eye, but a glance up at Ren shows that Ren’s attention is on Tokiya. Ren’s eyebrow is raised, but he has on a soft smile of his own. “I think I’m going to take a nap.” Tokiya’s smile turns teasing when he sits up and Ren gives him a playful pout. Tokiya slips his shoes off by his nightstand- he had been too distracted to leave them by the door. He pauses, glancing over his shoulder. “But you’re free to join me- if you’d like.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This AU was that everyone has a locket with a picture of their soulmate that only opens when certain conditions are meant.


	8. Games

“It wasn’t easy.” Ren admits, leaning against the wall of the practice room with a water bottle in his hands. “I’ve been trying since I was a kid.”

“You really beat it?” Otoya sounds excited. Masato isn’t being obvious about his interest in the conversation, but it’s there. He won’t look over at the three men surrounding Ren- Otoya, Cecil and, surprisingly enough, Tokiya, though Tokiya’s a bit more subtle in his own interest. But Masato had, admittedly, also been trying to beat the game. He had started when he was young, as well, but it was _difficult_ and Masato didn’t have a knack for video games. 

“Did you learn who your soulmate was? When you beat it?” Cecil sounds excited about this too. It gets a chuckle from Ren. 

“Ah- no, unfortunately.”

“Then what’s the point of beating it?” Tokiya speaks up, his eyebrows furrowing. “If you don’t even learn who your soulmate is?”

“I haven’t learned _yet_.” Ren corrects. “My soulmate hasn’t beaten the game. But if they do, I believe that I’ll learn.”

“I’m never going to meet my soulmate.” Otoya mourns. “I’m terrible at the game.”

“Keep trying, Ikki.” Ren smiles. “I’d be more than happy to help.” 

Masato had glanced up from the papers in his hand, but he hadn’t even realized just how heavily he was staring at Ren until Ren’s eyes meet his and his kind smile turns into a smirk. 

“And you, Hijri?” Masato’s lips press into a thin line at the nickname. Masato had given Ren permission, finally, to call him _Masato_. Ren decided that he’d push it. “Have you beaten the game? Or do you need my help?”

Masato makes a displeased noise. “I haven’t. I’m not all that concerned about it as it is.”

“Really? Aren’t you curious?” Cecil asks.

“I have other priorities. Perhaps I’ll eventually get around to playing it.” Masato shrugs. The conversation continues, but Masato is no longer a part of it, especially when Syo and Natsuki reenter from their earlier photoshoot and they join in on the conversation, too. 

“Ah. So you _were_ lying.” Ren’s voice is smug when he enters the room he shares with Masato later that night. Masato jumps, and, inevitably dies in the game. It’s a handheld and everyone’s looks similar, but each one has a special password. The password itself doesn’t mean much, because the device won’t turn on, unless its owner is using it. Theoretically, it _is_ beatable. Masato is positive that Ren’s game was much harder than his own is, but it’s still designed to be difficult and Masato can’t, for example, just hand the device to Ren because it will only play for Masato. A shame, really. Masato was usually very big on doing things for himself, but this was different. It was hard- and not on an enjoyable level. Masato had grown to hate video games. 

“I wasn’t.” Masato snaps, now a bit angry after his umpteenth death. “I was just thinking about it and chose to go dig it out.”

Ren hums, clearly not believing Masato, and then he plops himself on the couch besides Masato, making him comfortable and just watching Masato. 

“Which level are you on?” Ren asks, his eyes on the screen. 

That question leads to Masato freeing, which leads to _another_ death. “There are levels?”

Ren’s smile is actually a bit apologetic. “Three of them.”

This time, Masato just clicks it off. “I’m never going to beat this.”

“Let me help.” Ren offers. When Masato shoots him an incredulous look, Ren can’t help but smirk. “Let me try. If I can’t help walk you through it, I’ll leave you alone.”

“You mean that? You’ll actually leave me alone?” Masato doesn’t, for a second, believe that Ren’s going to be able to help him. 

Ren’s hands lift in surrender. “As far as this goes- yes.”

Masato sighs. “Fine. You can try. But I doubt it will work.”

Masato is expecting some kind of remark- something cocky, or teasing, but instead, Ren only motions towards the gaming system. Masato turns it back on. 

“Three chances. If I can’t get you further than you’ve gotten, I’ll leave it to you.”

“...Alright.”

It only takes two tries before Ren does actually manage to get Masato further than he had gotten yet. It takes a mere six tries before Masato has managed to pass the first level. He’s quiet- but he’s genuinely excited. After over twenty years of not being able to get further than this… he was _thrilled_. And he manages to glance up towards Ren just in time to see Ren’s smile. 

It wasn’t like most of the smiles that Masato got from Ren- the cocky ones, the teasing ones… sometimes, Masato may even consider them _mocking_. But right now, Ren just looked… happy. Maybe even proud. He seemed happy _for_ Masato and Masato couldn’t see anything ingenuine about his expression. But Ren’s expression calms not long after Masato looks up. 

“Good job, Hijiri. I knew you’d be able to do it.”

“Will…” Masato clears his throat, glancing away, but he still brings himself to finish his question .”...will you continue to help me?”

“Of course I will. But not today. I know you’re excited. It’s been some time since I’ve seen you this excited, actually- but you don’t want to make yourself frustrated.”

Masato wants to argue on this- but he has better self-discipline than that. So instead, he nods, reluctantly turning off the gaming system. “Alright.”

“You’ll finish it.” Ren assures. “And if you want my help until you do- then you’ll get it.”

“...Thank you, Ren.”

They actually make it into something of a bonding activity. It starts with Ren, suggesting that Masato go get his gaming system on some slow nights in the apartment, and then it goes to Masato, sometimes asking Ren himself. 

Masato wouldn’t admit- he couldn’t. But while he was sure that Ren assumed Masato was so eager to ask him was because Masato was eager to _beat_ it, but really, Masato _enjoyed_ having something to do with Ren. His feelings were getting fuddled and he was too scared to look into it. 

So he didn’t. Instead, he let himself have this. After all, it couldn’t last forever. It had taken quite a few sessions, but Masato was already on the last level and was making progress. He consistently got past the beginning of the level, and was now starting to learn the middle. 

Ren had been quiet, when Masato had started consistently getting to the end. 

Ren usually stopped Masato if Masato started getting frustrated, but recently, their sessions had started getting shorter. Masato lets Ren stop them, even if Masato genuinely does feel fine. They can both feel that Masato is getting to the end of his game. 

“What is your opinion on being with someone that isn’t your soulmate?” 

If Masato didn’t know Ren as well as he did, Masato might not even catch what Ren is really asking him. He sounds so… casual about it. So casual about something that has been bothering Masato for such a long time. 

Masato’s voice is pained. 

“I can’t, Ren. ...It’s not right. When I finish this game… if it tells me my soulmate, it’s my responsibility to be with them. If it doesn’t- it’s my responsibility to wait.” Masato’s fingers have stilled, but the death in the game doesn’t bother him right now. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Ren’s voice is weak, but Masato can tell that he was trying to hide it. “I understand.”

“I think I can finish it.” Masato says quietly. “If it’s going to be difficult for you to stay when I do- I understand if you wouldn’t like to finish this with me.”

“...I was into before you started really playing. I knew what I was getting into, by offering to help.” Ren’s smile is sad. “I offered you my help, and I’m going to keep my word. ...My soulmate’s out there, anyways, right? I’ll just have to be patient.”

Masato manages to beat the game the next day, and true to Ren’s word, he’s on the couch besides Masato when he does. 

Masato can actually feel Ren still on the couch besides him- because while Masato’s device flashes with the word **”Congratulations”** , Ren’s has made a loud noise, vibrating and flashing from its spot on his nightstand. 

Masato is holding his breath while he waits for the next screen, and he doesn’t think that Ren is breathing besides him, either. 

The next screen is simply information. A name, and a number. 

Masato’s barely caught sight of the screen before Ren is _on him_ , his lips connected to Masato’s. The hand that isn’t still clutching the system lifts to Ren’s arm- not pulling him closer but also not pushing him away. Masato’s eyes had widened when Ren had come at him, but after he glances at the screen to affirm that it _is_ Ren’s name- he closes his eyes. 

“I was hopeful.” Ren has barely pulled back from Masato’s lips when he speaks. “That it might be you. But I thought that would work out too well.”

“I had hardly dared to hope.” The words slip too easily from Masato’s lips and then he has to pull back from Ren from his own, accidental boldness, his cheeks going red- but it only makes Ren laugh. 

“Then we’re on the same page.” Ren’s voice is bright. 

“I suppose so.” Masato finds himself with a small smile that he can’t quite wipe off his face, even with his next “threat” that certainly falls just a bit short. He can’t muster a threatening tone. “Though I’d _appreciate_ it if you _wouldn’t_ go spreading this news everywhere.”

“Me?” Ren grins. “Never.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This AU is that you have to beat a game to be told who your soulmate is.


	9. Recording

Tokiya was a quiet child- he was the type that wasn’t overly talkative and he usually liked to keep to himself and read. He didn’t have a lot of friends, but it never really bothered him- after all, when he wasn’t busy practicing his singing, he was reading. 

Or, he was talking to the one friend he actually enjoyed talking to. 

Sometimes it was hard to talk to his friend. Their only method of conversation was over a small, handheld recorder. It was choppy conversation because Tokiya had to speak his piece and stop the recording before his friend, Ranmaru, would actually get to hear it. There was a specific button that would lift when there was a new recording, and Tokiya could listen to that recording as many times as he wanted until Ranmaru sent a new one. 

When they were very young, experimenting with their recorders, they spoke quite often. Tokiya would sometimes even take the recorder out with him, pairing it with a pair of earphones. It made Ranmaru’s voice fuzzy, but it let Tokiya converse with him more often. 

When Tokiya was starting vocal lessons, Ranmaru heard most of it. Sometimes when Tokiya practiced, he’d record his practicing. Tokiya’s voice as a child was _not_ good, but Ranmaru never said anything about. Tokiya got to hear Ranmaru as he taught himself the bass from a fairly young age. 

And then they reached their teenage years and they had fallen off in the early part of it. It wasn’t as if they didn’t get along, but Tokiya was always busy and until he reached the age of fifteen, he had never actually admitted to Ranmaru _why_ he didn’t have time to talk. 

But when Tokiya became Hayato, he had actually given Ranmaru a long winded explanation of where he had been, what he had been doing, and how nervous he was, to take the part of being an idol that really was nothing like himself. In the beginning, though, Tokiya was nervous… but excited. Ranmaru was supportive of him, at first, after they had gotten back to a normal speaking pattern. At least as normal as they could get- Tokiya learns that Ranmaru was in a small rock band, having left his home earlier. 

Tokiya never actually tells Ranmaru his idol name. Truthfully- they had introduced themselves as Tokiya and Ranmaru. Ranmaru didn’t know Tokiya’s last name, and Tokiya wasn’t aware of Ranmaru’s. 

That didn’t matter much to either of them. 

When Hayato had started to backfire on him, overworking him and worsening his already too-existent anxiety- Ranmaru was there for him through it. There wasn’t anything that Ranmaru could do, but he’d stay up later at night so that he and Tokiya could talk, and he’d let Tokiya just vent his feelings. 

Tokiya was there for Ranmaru, too, when his bands fell apart. When he finally decided to open up about his father and the disconnect he felt to the rest of his family- to his mother and sister. Tokiya shared his own feelings for his own mother because they truthfully were a bit similar to Ranmaru’s feelings. 

Eventually, Tokiya had admitted that he felt very strongly for Ranmaru. Ranmaru’s response? 

_”Well, yeah.”_

Tokiya had worked himself up for the admittance, but Ranmaru’s response had gotten a laugh out of him- though he did have to get an explanation out of Ranmaru. It ended with Ranmaru telling Tokiya that he’s felt the same for a while- and that he expected it. They were soulmates, after all. 

_”Some soulmates are platonic, you know.”_

_“Sure. ‘N most of ‘em aren’t.”_

Truthfully, Tokiya didn’t speak much about meeting up with Ranmaru. Tokiya wasn’t worried about any of _his_ feelings changing if they met- but he wondered what Ranmaru thought about it. He wondered if Ranmaru might be disappointed, getting to see Tokiya in person. 

_”I’m… going to be going to school. It’s an idol school. I know I’m already an idol, but I’d like to make a name for myself that’s not as fake as I have been.”_

_“A new start isn’t a bad thing. Lemme know how it goes.”_

_Tokiya wasn’t sure how to respond to that. The phrasing **”A new start”** didn’t sit right with Tokiya, because that wasn’t really what he was doing. _

_Ranmaru sends him a new recording the next day._

_“You okay?”_

_“I’m just busy.”_

_Tokiya means for it to be a reassurance._

_“When does your school start? Y’should get a break then, yeah?”_

_“Probably not.” Tokiya actually feels a bit nervous. Ranmaru had scolded him before, for working too much- for letting himself be pushed around. Tokiya knows it comes from a place of concern. “I’m **also** going to school.”_

_“That’s insane.” Ranmaru’s tone is flat. The recordings aren’t always great at picking up intonation, but Tokiya can tell this time. “You’re already miserable from how hard you’re workin’. You’re barely even fuckin’ **eighteen** , Toki. Why don’t you **just** go ‘t school?”_

_“It might not work.” Tokiya’s voice is numb, but it’s better than having it break. “Not everyone that goes to this school makes it, you know.”_

_“You’re already an idol. You’ve already proven y’can do it. Why wouldn’t you make it again?”_

_“You… God, I still can’t believe I ever let you hear me sing when I was a child-” That’s still one of the most embarrassing things that Tokiya has ever done. “But I did. You know that I’m not naturally talented. Hard work is the only way I’m getting anywhere, and it isn’t worth the risk. Letting go of my career.”_

_“Isn’t that against some kinda rule? You’re goin’ ‘t an **idol** school, right? Seems weird that they’d let a **current idol** in ‘t train how ‘t be an idol.”_

_“I spoke about my situation with the headmaster. Everything is under control.”_

_“Wouldn’t say that. ‘N they kind of sound like a shitty headmaster. ‘S this really worth killin’ yourself over?”_

_“Was my idol career alone really all that better?”_

_“I’m not tellin’ you to continue with yer current career. I’m tellin’ you that you should go ‘t school and just focus on **school**.”_

Tokiya had stopped responding that night. Ranmaru had sent a few frustrated recordings back, but in the end they had stopped speaking for about a week until Tokiya “apologized”.

It wasn’t an apology about ignoring Ranmaru’s concerns, but it was an apology for giving Ranmaru the silent treatment. Ranmaru still obviously wasn’t over Tokiya’s choice, but he forgave Tokiya enough to stop their silence, because silence made Ranmaru worry more than even Tokiya’s stupid decisions. 

Like when he was caught, by Ren and the others. There had been a good two days that Tokiya had just suddenly gone MIA. 

_”Talk to me, Tokiya. I wanna know if you’re okay.”_

_It was the same message, but Ranmaru had resent it multiple times. Trying to urge a response from Tokiya._

_Tokiya had headphones in, curled in his bed, the covers completely over his head. Otoya was asleep, and if Tokiya spoke quietly enough, he should be able to get away with talking to Ranmaru without an active audience._

_“I’m sorry.”_

_“Fuckin’ finally. What happened?” Ranmaru **sounded** worried, and it sent an ache through Tokiya’s chest. _

_“I just… got sick. From working too hard.” It was mostly true. “My bandmates figured it out. ...It’s over.”_

_“I’m not sorry it is.” There’s definitely frustration in Ranmaru’s voice. “It’s a miracle it took you this long ‘t get sick enough for everyone else ‘t tell.” There’s a long pause, but Tokiya knows the recording isn’t over. It’s almost a bit hard to catch what Ranmaru says next, but Tokiya does. “I wanna figure out how ‘t meet up.”_

_“That’s the first time you’ve ever brought it up.” Tokiya’s voice is just a bit too hushed in his surprise._

_“It’s real annoyin’. Hearin’ all of this shit you’re gettin’ yourself into, ‘n hearin’ about how you don’t give a shit about yourself ‘r what you’re doin’ ‘t yourself ‘n havin’ nothin’ that I can do about it. I can bitch about it all I want, ‘n tell you not ‘t do somethin’ but that obviously isn’t enough.”_

_“You want to meet me to force me to care for myself.” Tokiya can’t help the sigh. “I could stop telling you about the stupid things I do, if I’m worrying you that much.”_

_Now Ranmaru **really** sounds annoyed. “That’s not the fucking point. ‘N don’t be stupid. That’s not the only reason I want ‘t meet you, Toki- the reason I never brought it up is because I was tryin’ ‘t let things play out how they would. I’m **into you** Tokiya. It’s why I even give a shit about how you’re takin’ care ‘a yourself. It’s not fun, y’know. You’re barely even a fuckin’ adult ‘n I’m already wonderin’ if the silence I’m gettin’ might be it. If I’m ever **gonna** get ‘t talk to you again. This ain’t some good guy, hero complex- I give a shit about you ‘n your health. Hell, I know you don’t tell me everythin’ ‘n that worries me, too. ‘Cause if you’re not tellin’ me, I bet you’re not tellin’ anyone. ‘N repressin’ that kinda shit isn’t a good thing.” Ranmaru pauses, letting out a very deep sigh. “I dunno exactly how you’re feelin’. I wasn’t raised the way you were ‘n I didn’t take things the way you did. I know just tellin’ you to start payin’ attention to yourself isn’t gonna just make you, but I **want to** be there for you to give you a hand.”_

_“It’s… late. But we can talk about it later.”_

Ranmaru, to his credit, did try- but Tokiya didn’t make it easy. The only reason Ranmaru didn’t force his way through it was because Tokiya was no longer living two lives. Tokiya had gone through a short phase of trying to not tell Ranmaru anything that upset him, but Tokiya not venting to Ranmaru only made Ranmaru worry more, so Tokiya relented somewhat into that. 

Tokiya hadn’t ever actually heard Ranmaru sing- but when had heard Ranmaru for the first time during the mastercourse, he had at first gotten a sense of familiarity. It wasn’t until the introductions, when he had heard Ranmaru _speak_ that he realized that it was the same voice that he heard almost daily. His shell-shocked expression is missed by Ranmaru because Tokiya wasn’t his junior. Ranmaru must have seen his name somewhere, and he is casting the occasional, curious glance towards Otoya and Tokiya, but Tokiya isn’t sure if Ranmaru even knows which member _is_ Tokiya, or if Tokiya Ichinose is _his_ Tokiya.

Tokiya doesn’t speak. He gives Reiji a nod at his introduction. 

It isn’t until he’s reentered the room that he’ll be using for the next few weeks that he actually speaks, and it’s only because Otoya speaks to him. 

“Are you okay, Tokiya? You don’t look so good.”

Tokiya sighs. “I’m fine, Otoya.”

Reiji’s head tilts, watching Tokiya closely, before his hand flies up and his eyes brighten. “Wait a minute! I’ve heard your voice before!” 

“STARISH is growing. It’s not impossible that you have.” Tokiya’s voice is dry. His expression is unamused, but his heart is racing. 

“No, no. That’s not it. It was… That’s right! Ran-Ran’s recorder!” Reiji’s entire expression brightens now. “You’re his soulmate!” 

“How have you heard his recorder?” Tokiya’s eyes narrow. 

Reiji’s chuckle sounds nervous. “Oh, you know, just here and there…” Reiji rubs the back of his neck. “Small rooms and thin walls and all that.” Reiji’s hand raises to wave dismissively, but then he switches topics. “Wait! Go! You should go tell him!” 

“Yeah! If your soulmate is here you should let him know!” Otoya feeds into Reiji’s enthusiasm, but both boys seem surprised when Tokiya shakes his head. 

“I’m going to unpack, and I’m going to take a few minutes to rest before we need to be productive, and the both of you are going to say nothing about this. It’s none of your business.” 

Otoya seems taken aback. Tokiya had grown just a bit warmer in the time of them becoming friends, but the side Tokiya was showing now was _cold_. 

“He’s been looking for you, though, right?” Reiji sounds a bit unsure now. Almost a bit deflated. “Are you two fighting?”

“It’s none of your business. I’m done speaking about this.” Tokiya’s voice is final. When he heads to his… “new”... bed, he notices that the things that had been in his now-missing side table was laid on his bed. Most of the things just get stuffed under the bottom bunk (the one that his things were laid on), but he takes out the recorder. Tokiya also takes his headphones, because he notices that there’s a new recording from Ranmaru. 

“Are you in the mastercourse?”

It was a simple sentence. Tokiya takes out the headphones and stashes the recorder. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to meet Ranmaru. The thought that he had seen Ranmaru was actually exciting-

Tokiya remembers his first thought, seeing Ranmaru. 

_Wow, he’s hot._

But it made Tokiya worried. Because of course Tokiya liked Ranmaru- they had spoken almost their entire lives. Ranmaru was Tokiya’s first real friend. He was his best friend- his love interest. They had never expressly stated it, but Ranmaru was Tokiya’s boyfriend. But Ranmaru was hot, and talented, and Ranmaru’s voice made Tokiya melt, and Tokiya just didn’t hold a candle to that. 

The absolute enamored feeling that Tokiya felt seeing Ranmaru… the realization that Ranmaru was the _full package_... 

Tokiya didn’t think that Ranmaru would have that same experience. He was worried that Ranmaru would be disappointed. 

Tokiya didn’t last through the day. 

The seniors, Quartet Night (or at least the three of them that were actually there), instructed STARISH to line up. 

“Let’s have you introduce yourselves!” Reiji claps his hands with his announcement. Tokiya stills, and Ranmaru and the blue-haired senior that looked younger than possibly everyone in STARISH both turn to look at Reiji. “Hey! It’s not a bad idea! We’ve only met two each.” Reiji defends. 

“Whatever.” Ranmaru grumbles. It was clear that Ranmaru was in a bad mood and Tokiya thinks he knows why. He hadn’t responded to the recorder, after all, and Ranmaru hated when Tokiya stayed silent. 

Tokiya was near the end of the line. Otoya was the only one further than he was. 

Tokiya was working on not paying attention to Ranmaru, which was easy enough because Ranmaru wasn’t paying attention to any of them specifically anyways. No one really got a glance from him as they introduced themselves. Until Tokiya. 

Tokiya bows his head. “Tokiya Ichinose.”

When Tokiya glances back up, he notices that Ranmaru’s eyes are on him. He doesn’t even glance to Tokiya’s side when Otoya speaks. 

“Alright.” Reiji claps his hands, but he’s eyeing Ranmaru from the side of his eye. “I think we’ve all had a long day, hmm?”

“Wasn’t there more to be done?” The blue-haired senior asks, his voice blunt. 

“We’ll have our work set for us for the rest of this block.” Reiji grins. “I think we can give the kiddos a few hours.” 

Reiji’s heavy implications become understood by the boy, who finally gives a stiff nod. “Alright.”

Tokiya’s bandmates are glancing among each other- besides Tokiya. Tokiya’s gaze is locked on Reiji with a look that could burn a hole through Reiji’s forehead, but eventually the boys accept it. Tokiya does try to backtrack, but as soon as people begin moving, Ranmaru makes a beeline. 

Tokiya isn’t really sure what he’s expecting from Ranmaru- perhaps anger. A lecture. A line of questioning. Ranmaru’s expression isn’t exactly _angry_ but it’s certainly intense. When he’s close enough to Tokiya, Ranmaru’s arms wrap tightly around him, holding Tokiya in a very tight bear hug. 

“Were you even _gonna_ tell me?” Ranmaru’s voice is gruff.

“I wasn’t sure.” Tokiya says quietly. 

“Y’weren’t sure about _what_?”

“If I was going to tell you. ...I know I couldn’t keep it a secret forever… it’s not… not that I didn’t want you to know…” Tokiya’s a bit frustrated with how slow his tongue is working with him. “...It was a lot.” Tokiya finally settles on. Ranmaru still hasn’t released him from the hug. “I don’t want to talk about it here.” 

Tokiya could see a few of the boys that had stuck around, glancing curiously at Tokiya and Ranmaru. Ranmaru finally lets him go. “Let’s go outside. I wanna talk about this now.”

Tokiya gives a quiet nod, taking his left hand in his right to nervously fidget with his fingers. Tokiya was a bit slow in moving, but Ranmaru wouldn’t lead, choosing to walk besides Tokiya. Luckily, it isn’t _that_ difficult to find a more discreet spot among the trees. Tokiya hesitates, but when Ranmaru settles on the ground, Tokiya follows suit. 

“Talk.”

Tokiya sighs, closing his eyes. It actually makes it easier, pretending as if he’s just speaking into his recorder. “It was a lot.” He repeats. “ _You_ were a lot. I had never really thought much about what you looked like but… I was… intimidated? I’m not sure if that’s the right word, but I… wasn’t disappointed? Which sounds harsh but I just… didn’t think it would be the same for you. I was nervous to approach you because I didn’t think you’d have the same reaction that I did, seeing you. A… good reaction, I suppose.”

When Tokiya opens his eyes, Ranmaru is glaring at him. “I already like you.” His statement is blunt. “I thought we already talked about this.”

Tokiya gives a half-hearted huff. “This isn’t the same. Just because you like my personality doesn’t automatically make me your type… visually.”

“You’re my soulmate. That’s what makes you my type. ‘Sides. I don’t care what you look like. That’s not what’s gonna make ‘r break this.” Ranmaru then sighs, raising a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose, his eyes closing. They open before he speaks again. “‘N if you really wanna look at it like that- you’re an idol. ...You were Hayato, yeah? ‘S why I sent you the recordin’ in the first place. ‘S what made me suspicious. But you were a fuckin’ commercial idol- in a pretty objective way you’re hot, Tokiya.”

Tokiya has to stay quiet for a long moment, thrown off by Ranmaru’s speech- particularly the end of it. Tokiya still hasn’t spoken when Ranmaru finally gets to his feet, offering Tokiya a hand. When Tokiya takes it, a bit slowly, Ranmaru pulls him up, but he doesn’t let Tokiya go yet. His entire expression seems softer, though maybe just a bit tired, and he lets out a heavy sigh. 

“I’ve wanted ‘t do this for a long fuckin’ time.” Tokiya just watches him, a bit nervous. He’s not sure what Ranmaru’s going to do- but then Ranmaru’s hands cup Tokiya’s face and Ranmaru leans forward, pressing his lips to Tokiya’s forehead. When he pulls back, he doesn’t stop cradling Tokiya’s face. His voice doesn’t quite hit stern, still sounding too soft. “Stop bein’ fuckin’ stupid.”

Tokiya can’t help his startled laugh- though the last few hours catch up to him quickly and he can’t help the tears that fill his eyes. Ranmaru’s thumb brushes over Tokiya’s cheek in time to catch the first tear that manages to fall. Tokiya’s voice is barely a mumble. “I’ll try.”

“I’ll make sure ‘a it. You’re not gettin’ me off ‘a your back for a long time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This AU was that everyone gets a recorder and whatever you record is heard by your soulmate.


End file.
